Politics Gift Guide

I Heart Pants T-Shirt

Are you gnashing your teeth over how to talk to your teenager about sexuality and safe sex? Worry no more! The answer is simple: Don't talk to them at all. Simply buy a $12 I Heart Pants T-shirt from the folks at Austin LifeGuard – the abstinence-only education arm of Austin LifeCare crisis pregnancy center. The T-shirt's message is simple: Keep your pants on and your legs closed and all your worries about unplanned pregnancy and sexually-transmitted infections will disappear. As an added bonus, you can write down the group's URL (www.iheartpants.org) on a gift tag to give your teen the link to a quick-hit video on how this whole keepin' your pants on thing works, further eliminating any need to engage with your teen on this important topic.