The Hightower Report

The Upside to Downsizing

Let's check today's scores: Home Depot, 7,000; GM, 2,000; Sprint, 8,000; Texas Instruments, 3,400; Caterpillar, 20,000; and Pfizer, 26,000.

That's just a few of the corporations that on a single day in the last week of January announced more than 71,000 job cuts. These came on top of 40,000 people who got the boot the week before that from such brand names as Williams-Sonoma, Microsoft, Clear Channel, Intel, and United Airlines. And the hemorrhaging has only begun, as our economy is expected to lose 600,000 jobs a month this year.

Fortunately, though, there are a few economic sectors that are doing extremely well. Companies that print pink slips, for example, have never seen better times. Also, economic prognosticators are in heavy demand, now grinding out a record level of inane statements about America's job situation, including this insight from one economist: "The good news," he proclaimed, "is it's so bad right now that we will have a definite, noticeable recovery when it comes." Uh-huh. Remember, he has a college degree and actually gets paid to say stuff like that.

But if you're looking for a career with a solid future, you might try the layoff industry. Yes, there is such a thing. "Career transition" consultants are hot these days, as corporate America seeks help in dumping so many employees. These consulting firms give "termination training" to corporate managers, even providing scripts for gentle ways to tell employees, "You're fired." Indeed, firees never hear such cold language, rather they're informed that their position has been "made redundant."

See, downsizing isn't all bad. In fact, with a 75% increase in "career transition" work last year, downsizing could become America's No. 1 growth industry.

Home Depot Exec Blows a Gasket

Time for another Gooberhead Award – presented periodically to those in the news who have their tongues running 100 mph but forgot to put their brains in gear.

Today I have a hot goober for you – a corporate chieftain who's hot under the collar about a piece of legislation that would allow workers in a company to form a union if a majority of them sign written cards declaring they want to unionize.

This simple step toward a bit of workplace democracy is necessary, because the corporate powers have rigged our labor laws so company executives can intimidate, shut out, and even fire employees who attempt to join with co-workers in a union. Some 60% of working people say they'd join a union tomorrow if they could, and the proposed Employee Free Choice Act would make that possible.

That's what fired up today's Gooberhead, Bernie Marcus, the co-founder of Home Depot. He profits from low-wage, nonunion workers, and he doesn't want any democratic changes that would dilute his autocratic control over working folks. So, in a conference call with several other corporate executives, Marcus blew a gasket.

"This is the demise of a civilization," he screeched. Adding, "This is how a civilization disappears." Whew, Bernie, get a grip. Allowing Home Depot workers to organize democratically and gain a say over their livelihoods is actually quite civilized – an advance, not a demise.

Of course, Marcus was talking about his own little exclusive civilization – corporate fiefdoms controlled by self-serving, petty autocrats like him. Indeed, he is so threatened by this reform legislation that he lashed out at CEOs of other retail chains, declaring that if they're not putting up money to defeat the Free Choice Act, "they should be shot."

I think he meant it.