Top 10 Ways to Convince AMD Not to Move to Lantana That SOS Hasn't Tried Yet

Photo By John Anderson

1) Gift boxes of exploding cigars.

2) A Move AMD reality show, in which three activists live with three AMD executives in a downtown loft and find greater understanding and harmony via tequila shots at the Dizzy Rooster.

3) Summoning the armies of the undead to do their righteous bidding over the aquifer.

4) Staging an interpretive dance performance of Rachel Carson's Silent Spring in the middle of East Oltorf.

5) Vegan hunger strikes.

6) Hiring beautiful people to impersonate naked dead salamanders splayed about the Fab 25 parking lot.

7) Slipping a few pounds of cannabis sativa seeds into the natural restoration mix to make the landscape at the Oak Hill site extra-groovy – and confiscatable.

8) Convincing Amy's Ice Creams to debut a special flavor: "Move AMD Mocha."

9) Snorkeling upstream from Barton Springs, down through the Edwards Aquifer and up Williamson Creek, to Southwest Parkway, for a mass human beaching at Lantana.

10) Building an exact replica of Oak Hill, Circle C, and the Barton Creek Estates – complete with detour signs leading from the Southwest Parkway – somewhere near Lockhart.