Top 10 Reasons I'm Leaving the 'Chronicle'

Mike Clark-Madison has left the building

City Hall
City Hall (Photo By John Anderson)

1) The incentive package wasn't sweet enough. Throw in a fishing trip with Rick Perry to Bimini, and then it's a different story.

2) I got lost in a big-box power center and couldn't find my way out. I think it was called the Potlatch at Tech Ridge, but they all look the same.

3) The pointy thing on the new City Hall gives me nightmares.

4) Austin city government is way too clean! Give me some really scummy on-the-pad capos with multiple mistresses and nanny problems, and we'll talk.

5) Plastics.

6) I need to bail before Jennifer Gale actually wins something.

7) I wanted to start charging tolls to read my column, but there was public outrage.

8) Drawing all those multicolored election maps has played havoc with my eyesight.

9) See, there's this guy who used to have my job, and then he got a job with the city, but now he's leaving that job, and you know, maybe he'd like his old job back. Not naming names or nothing ...

10) I'm running out of room to store all my hats.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for almost 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

More Mike Clark-Madison
Mike Clark-Madison Named Publisher of Austin Monitor
Mike Clark-Madison Named Publisher of Austin Monitor
Former Chronicle writer and editor becomes third to run local site

Chase Hoffberger, Feb. 9, 2018

More by Mike Clark-Madison
Politics Gift Guide 2021: Ain't That Good News
Politics Gift Guide 2021: Ain't That Good News
Gift ideas for the politically and civically minded

Dec. 3, 2021

Austin At Large: Blinking in the Bright Light
Austin At Large: Blinking in the Bright Light
Austinites stagger into the post(?)-pandemic streets, waving at the new neighbors

Dec. 3, 2021


Mike Clark-Madison

One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Can't keep up with happenings around town? We can help.

Austin's queerest news and events

Eric Goodman's Austin FC column, other soccer news

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle