Worst Tour Stories Ever: Cherubs

We were in Illinois or Pennsylvania or Ohio. Who knows? On our way from a show to another show.

We decided to take the scenic route. I was driving and Brent Prager rode shotgun in our nasty black van. Brent had a ton of dreadlocks and some "Fuck You, We're From Texas" T-shirt on.

Sure enough, we got pulled over in a "routine" traffic stop where cops do a quick shakedown to determine enough suspicion for a lengthier shakedown. Being a band from "Fuck You Texas" got us a closer inspection. They told us to pull over and they'd be back with some dogs to search the nasty van.

We had drugs. Quite a bit of drugs.

As we were losing our cool about what to do, Owen McMahon thought to douse the back with tea tree oil from a hippie girl. Very pungent for people and dogs. The whole van smelled like Vicks VapoRub.

We stood out in the tall grass having to pee while the dogs alerted the cops to an area of the van far away from the drugs. They tore it up without finding anything. They wanted so badly to put us in jail.

They asked us, "What's up with the Vicks?" We said we were sick. They said, "We're going to escort you to the state line, and we never want to see you in our state again."

We said thank you. We've never been back.

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