Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg, the Clipse, and P. Diddy

Consider Jay-Z's much-ballyhooed comeback a hot mess. Most of its beats are either too plastic flash ("Oh My God," "Show Me What You Got," and "Hollywood"), or downright listless ("Lost One," "Minority Report," and "Beach Chair"). Jigga's failure to captivate as an MC results in his sounding more like a whiny old man than the brash juggernaut we've come to know through classic discs, including 1996 debut Reasonable Doubt and 2001's The Blueprint. The few redeeming moments on Kingdom Come (Roc-a-Fella) come courtesy of B-Money's slithering bassline on "The Prelude," Just Blaze's drastic chopping of Rick James' "Super Freak" for the title track, and a favorable pairing between Jay and Dr. Dre on "Trouble." While Snoop Dogg's The Blue Carpet Treatment (Doggy Style/Geffen) ultimately scatters itself as yet another mixed bag of industry cameos, there are at least three impeccable songs. There's the breezy Cali soul of "Think About It," the resurrected Crenshaw Boulevard g-funk of "Crazy," and the twisted, X-rated marathon of "A Bitch I Knew," each proving Snoop as a legend with still-fresh tricks up his sleeve. Meanwhile, the Clipse sticks to its tried-and-true formula (see 2002's Lord Willin'), with unyielding crack lore enhanced by otherwordly beats provided by the Neptunes. As the steel drums of "Wamp Wamp (What It Do)" meet bagpipe moans, Pusha T and Malice join Slim Thug in a boast of sinister proportions. On "Keys Open Doors," the Clipse "don't come with a pitch neither, the shit sell itself." Unapologetically, Hell Hath No Fury (Arista) serves up street product that remains consistently potent over the course of 12 tracks. From his perch high above Manhattan, P. Diddy gazes down at the asphalt and decides that he'd like to pave it with cheese. Sporting executive raps and the most overly refined instrumentals money can buy, Press Play (Bad Boy) barely avoids being horrendous.