Phases & Stages

The Yuppie Pricks

Brokers Banquet (Alternative Tentacles)

Listening to the Yuppie Pricks on disc is like reading a screenplay. Without the visuals, it's hard to imagine what actually happens behind the camera. However, with the bills pouring from the Pricks' silk-lined pockets, it's shocking that Brokers Banquet, their debut on Jello Biafra's notoriously silly Alternative Tentacles, wasn't paired with footage of the millionaires' famous themed parties. If that were the case, maybe the redundant nature of the generic four-four punk rock songs – aside from the brilliant lyrics, natch – could be ignored. However, knowing that both a cover of the Motards' "Paycheck" and a reimagining of the Geto Boys' legendary "Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta" await the listener at disc's end is enough motivation to wade through the first 20 minutes of megalomania. They never said they were nice guys. Opener "Coke Party" marries the Dead Kennedys with Offspring, implementing the intro that's no stranger throughout the disc. Triple wishful thoughts ("Hummer in My Hummer," "Rich Bitch," "Gonna Die Rich") are followed by glimpses into the lives of the rich and famous ("Cherry Red," "Day Spa"), but what's a Tentacle without cynicism? Enter "Prick for President." With women, drugs, and C-notes at their disposal, the Yuppie Pricks should have many a chance to stretch their character creativity into something that stands alone on disc. "All I gotta say to you wannabe, gonnabe, cocksuckin', Honda-drivin' flunkies, is when a model sits down, what the fuck you gonna do? Damn if feels good to be a Yuppie." The easily offended need not apply.