Texas Platters

Phases and Stages


Lickable (Big Block) To put it charitably, Hug is an acquired taste; namely, a taste acquired after several hits off the crack pipe. Obsessed with cunnilingus, drugs, and the KGB (don't ask), the local Casio-worshipping threesome is just the ticket for anyone who finds Tenacious D too refined or Ween just not creepy enough. The Hug m.o. is simple: "Scott van Hug" picks out a childlike melody, complete with peppy prefab rhythm, on his keyboard bank; "Jack Hug" supplies texture with a wash of bong-resin-clouded guitar; and "Blair Hug" carries on like the unholy bastard child of Daniel Johnston and Larry Flynt. During one memorable moment Hug wonders what Hitler would have been like as a girl. (The answer: She would shave her pubic hair, silly.) Mind you, Hug does possess a certain charm -- "Pussy Bomb" comes complete with real explosions! And John Ashcroft himself can't match the patriotism of "All American Man," wherein Blair orally pleasures his partner not for himself, or even her, but for his country. (Heh heh, I said country.) So far over the top it's all the way back on the bottom, Lickable is essential only for those who let their subscription to Screw lapse, are barred from the neighborhood adult bookstore, or are in need of therapy. Lots of therapy.


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