Punk Prom & Little Debbie Taunt-Ball, Chances, April 16, 1994

Punk Prom & Little Debbie Taunt-Ball

Chances, April 16, 1994

This was truly the prom to make up for being misunderstood in high school! We arrived just in time for the hickey contest, but we missed the Hormones. Mr. Tim Stegall was wearing his gold Elvis-was-the-first-punk jacket, so I didn't feel like we missed how great they looked, at any rate. Chances was like a dream, all tin foil and brightly colored balloons. Everyone was decked out in their own highly individualized conception of promwear, less Sassy than Suburbia, as they feasted on snack cakes and filled out their ballots. (Sample of categories to vote in: Queeniest, Best Cleavage, Most Likely to Puke on Date, Most Likely to Need Escort to Methadone Clinic in the AM.) Emcee Miss Gretchen Phillips kept the party rolling with witty stage banter and a remarkable dress that clocked in somewhere between mauve and lavender. Next up was Stretford, my personal vote for Most Suave. Their special brand of power pop-punk was a sure-fire pleaser, especially when Power Snatch's lovely Miss Cindy Widner (resplendent in a long velvet dress with dyed-to-match shoes) joined them for a cover of "Oh Bondage, Up Yours!" We missed the always spectacular Power Snatch while on a bathroom jaunt to Emo's, but made it back in time to see the Chicken Man and Miss Terri Lord crowned as King and Queen (Mr. Stegall having abdicated the latter glory in a flurry of gobbing and indignation) and the "Baby, I Love Your Way" spotlight dance. Ouch. Anyway, the prom ended on a high note, with everybody bopping on the dance floor for the unbelievably cool Sons of Hercules.