The Luv Doc

The Luv Doc


Dear Luv Doc,
My boyfriend takes me for granted. I do so much for him – clean the house, wash dishes, take care of our dog … I even bought his Mother’s Day gift for him – but he never thanks me for anything. He doesn’t even say he loves me unless I say it first. I am feeling underappreciated and used. I am not asking for much … just an occasional "thank you." How do I get it?
– Boots

Damn, Boots, he sounds like an inconsiderate asshole. I am amazed you are still with him. He must have some other qualities that didn’t make the edit. Huge penis is too obvious. Maybe he has really nice hands … or a winning smile … or a beach house in Malibu? You know what? A beach house in Malibu is really sweet, but not if you have to share it with an ingrate who doesn’t pick up after himself. You might be able to make it through a week or two, but sooner or later you would start fantasizing about dropping some rat poison in his Crunch Berries. How do I know? I just do. It does say something, however, that you actually want to do things for this bastard, so I will back off on my condemnation a bit and focus on the question at hand: How do you keep from feeling hurt and bitter? Well, the best way to do that is to (stay with me here) show gratitude to your boyfriend. Yes, I just said that. Show him gratitude. You don’t want to get in a pissing match about who gets the least amount of recognition – even if you’re sure you’re going to win. If you’re planning on sticking with this guy, you need to recognize the positive things he does for you. Not for his sake necessarily, but for yours. You don’t want to walk around all day feeling like you got the shit end of the stick. Where did that phrase come from? Why is there shit on the end of the stick? Perhaps merely being in a place where a person is holding a stick with shit on the end of it is reason enough to feel poorly about your circumstances, but I digress. By recognizing your boyfriend's good qualities, not only will you be making you feel better about you, you will be modeling the exact kind of behavior you’re looking for in him. So, for instance, if your boyfriend does something helpful – let’s say he flushes the toilet or actually throws his beer cans in the recycling container – praise him for it. Baby steps, eh? Then maybe you could go for bigger stuff like thanking him for being so hilariously funny or so good with numbers or so devilishly handsome. I’m sure the list is a mile long. You’re not the kind of woman who would settle for a dumb, ugly ingrate who carries a stick around with shit on the end of it. Of course not. Why would you?

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