"...Witch Taint. Mystikum..."
"...Okay, as the opening to an epic tale, it’s no “Sing, Goddess, Achilles’ rage,/ Black and murderous, that cost the Greeks/ Incalculable pain, pitched countless souls/ Of heroes into Hades’ dark,/ And left their bodies to rot as feasts/ For dogs and birds, as Zeus’ will was done.” Still, it works well enough in setting the stage for the saga of Lance – he of Gary, Indiana, born the king of black metal (“and a ton of other shit, too”); genius behind Witch Taint, the blackest black metal band anywhere (including Norway), whose music is so black that when you listen to it, Lance says, you better not have any sharp objects around because you may want to kill yourself...."
"...Witch Taint – The Black Metal Dialogues Live! – smash hit at SXSW 2017, with comedian Dave Hill reading letters he wrote to a real Scandinavian metal musician posing as an obnoxious American metalhead (Phil Costello fills in as the Scandinavian);..."
"...This year’s Festival will also feature a variety of independent shows, like • Good Trip w/ Shane Mauss, which explores the comedian’s life-long relationship with psychedelics that’s part stand-up, part storytelling, and part TED Talk; • Would You Bang Him?, a comedy game show in which hosts Rich Vos and Bonnie McFarlane, with the help of female judges, aims to answer the titular question for a batch of competing male comedians; and • Witch Taint, a comedic live reading and concert detailing Dave Hill's account of posing as a black metal guitarist online and trying to get signed by a record label...."
"...Or is that Dracula – we can never remember. Catch all three at this week's screening of Bela Lugosi's Dracula, with DJ Addams, and special guests Miss Taint and Dandy Velour..."