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Playback: Experiencing a Broadened Euphoria
EDM breaks out, Agony Column returns
Music Column  April 9, 2015, by Kevin Curtin
"...County politics is of little concern to the droves of young EDM fans living for the bass drop. For them, only Euphoria awaits. Agony Column Still Standing..."

Playback: Spotify Gifts Kealing Middle School
After the SXSW carnival leaves town, Kealing Middle School will have something to show for it – thanks to Spotify
Music Column  February 25, 2016, by Kevin Curtin
"...Agony Column singer Richie Turner married his fiancée Jules Bryant onstage at Sidewinder last Saturday night. The metal screamer didn't don a tux for the occasion, but he did keep his T-shirt on..."

Our readers talk back.
Columns  August 4, 2006
"...I actually have the flier for the KTSB Underground Metal Onslaught at the Back Room. Bands included the likes of Agony Column, Civais, Dread, and you guys..."

Dancing About Architecture
Music Column  October 6, 1995
"...Um, I just have one question, dude. Can I pay in quarters? Strange Zonefellows I'm not trying to put too much emphasis on these goings-on, but seeing as I started off this column with a close-knit scene theme, it seems like this rates a mention: It seems that Tanya Fain of Roadstar Productions will be the official booker for the newly re-opened (third time 'round!) La Zona Rosa..."

What Are You Looking At?
The year in pop-culture fixations
Screens Story  December 24, 2010
"...It's proven indispensable this holiday season, as the "Popular Favorites" posts (ranked by users) have featured some great gift suggestions: Ask MeFi's "Gift for an old school manly man?" thread is responsible for my current obsession with vintage-reproduction field watches. And as a holiday respite, it doesn't get any better than "relationship filter," a 21st century agony column where people query for personal advice..."

Point Austin: Deciding What To Settle For
City Council poised to prolong the Sanders / Quintana agony
News Column  July 30, 2010, by Michael King
"...It's been an axiom of this column that what's bad for the country (or city) is good for journalism. The City Council may be poised to reward that occupational cynicism today (Thursday) by rejecting the proposed settlement agreement in the Sanders case..."

Re-Re-Re-Re-Reopening Night
The Ritz: Talkie theatre, cowboy hangout, playhouse, comedy and punk club, Alamo Drafthouse Cinema
Screens Story  November 2, 2007, by Marc Savlov
"...(For Underwood's complete story on the historic night, see With punk nexus Raul's club, which was up on the Drag where the Texas Showdown now resides, on the way out, the Austin punk scene had the air of an orphaned stray, but at the Ritz it found a place it could call home, if only for a while. Underwood, Sedwick, and Shelton brought in the biggest and the best punk legends of the time, among them the Misfits, Minor Threat, and Hüsker Dü, and later provided a breeding ground for homegrown groups like Scratch Acid and Agony Column, as well as both local and national bands from the emerging speed-metal genre, not least of which was Jason McMaster's Watchtower...."

My People Were Here
Postmarks  August 1, 2006
"...I actually have the flier for the KTSB Underground Metal Onslaught at the Back Room. Bands included the likes of Agony Column, Civais, Dread, and you guys..."

Music Showcase
Music Review  March 14, 2003, by Marc Savlov
"...Canoe's lack of bass and the addition of pop-scrank keyboards put them in line with the best of NYC's class of 1978. Part Gang of Four, part aggro-crunch, they manhandle chords sans the deep end, relying instead on some of the most pummeling drumming this side of Austin's Agony Column..."

Dancing About Architecture
Chrysta Bell quits the Souvenirs; the Meat Puppets' new record could come out in record time.
Music Column  July 21, 2000, by Ken Lieck
"...'Tis the week for many happy returns: Along with Agony Column's reunion (see Music Listings), the local boys who got a nice settlement from that UK band to use the name "Gomez" are back, playing Friday at Room 710 with Dead End Cruisers and Brewtality, Inc., under the name The Great American Gomez (I would have suggested "No-Mo'mez" or "Zemog the Irreversible"). Chepo Peña says the band will have copies of their unreleased Scooch Pooch album along with them..."

Top 10 Decade/Local
Music Story  January 7, 2000
"...5. Agony Column, Brave Words & Bloody Knuckles..."

Game Reviews
Screens Story  December 17, 1999, by Erica C. Barnett
"...The game also allows you to save or e-mail dream images and go online to Purple Moon's Web page, where you can look for updates, find out "background" info on the characters, and swap images with others. Teen Digital Diva (PC, Activision/Girl Games, $27.95) This surprisingly creative Teen magazine spinoff lets players create their own fashion magazine, including full-color layouts, headlines, and photos imported via scanner or the Internet. Everything is in here, from a teenage "agony column" to do-it-yourself quizzes, horoscopes, and record reviews..."

Dancing About Architecture
It's in the Can
Music Column  October 24, 1997, by Ken Lieck
"...When you wake up on Sunday morning feeling guilty about all that abuse to animal, vegetable, and mineral, you'll be glad to know that the Electric Lounge is hosting a benefit for the Bill Hicks Foundation for Wildlife Rehabilitation. Scheduled to perform starting at 8pm are comics Tom Hester and Nancy Reed, with music by Miss Xanna Don't & the Wanted, Agony Column, Prescott Curlywolf, Killing Ophelia, Third Degree and 10-inch Maria..."

Bonus Tracks
Music Story  October 10, 1997
"...While it's notable that Frozen was produced by Agony Column in their basement, what more is there to say about a cassette that opens with "Abortion Retrieval," hits its stride with "Salvational Rot," and closes with "Ceremonial Rites"? It's death metal, love it or hate it. -- Andy Langer..."

Dancing About Architecture
How's Yer Johnson?
Music Column  August 2, 1996, by Ken Lieck
"...Such is not the case with speedmetal satirists Agony Column, I'm afraid. Unique vocalist Richie Turner ("Rattle - Rattle - Rattle - Striiiike!") is currently in a cell awaiting a visit to the courtroom, and not for the first time. This time, the incarceration is for revocation of probation or, as band member Stuart Laurence puts it, "pissing dirty too many times," and friends are not too upbeat about his chances of quick release..."

Stealing America: Vote by Vote
This documentary account of Election Day 2004 thinks it has the answer: conspiracy and treason, Republican-style.
Film Review  September 19, 2008, by Josh Rosenblatt
"...Shocked and despondent, good lefties were left to stew in their grief and ponder the greatest of unanswered questions: What the hell happened? Documentarian Fadiman (When Abortion Was Illegal) thinks she knows the answer: Bush and Rove and the Republicans stole the election, stole it right out from under the noses of the American public, leaving voters, democracy, and the Constitution broken on the side of the road. Parsing polling data and conducting interviews with journalists, election officials, disenchanted voters, and politicos of various ideological stripes, Fadiman lays out a timeline of that fateful day – a day that will live in infamous-itude, as our president might say – from early reports of electronic-voting-machine shortages and malfunctions to midday talk of vote switching (whereby votes cast for Kerry were magically leaping onscreen to the Bush column, right before voters' eyes), from dinnertime footage of lines at inner-city polling stations stretching for blocks to the sad sight of Kerry conceding the election before some districts in Ohio had even closed their doors..."

Off the Record
Handicapping the decade in Austin music and playing favorites for the Chronicle Music Poll
Music Column  January 1, 2010, by Austin Powell

Gay Place
Where the queers at on Friday? SXSW!
Features Story  March 20, 2009, by Ash Bell and Kate X Messer
"...WHERE MY PEOPLE AT? What to do and where to go beyond all the official Festival folderol? What's Q-friendly at the SXSQ? Let your best gay girlfriends and best gay boyfriends here at the Gay Place guide you.* For starters, check this column in each of the dailies, and look up our online resources:..."

Playing Through
The human drama of athletic competition lies as much in defeat and disappointment as it does in victory
Columns  July 11, 2008, by Thomas Hackett

Beside the Point: Run-Off 101
Morrison won the City Council run-off, but apparently only 4.99% of you care
News Column  June 20, 2008, by Richard Whittaker

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