'Chronicle' to Be Held Accountable

RECEIVED Tue., Nov. 4, 2008

Dear Austin Chronicle,
    I'm not sure why your readers find your Oct. 3 cover – a photo of a kitten with a snub-nose revolver pointed at its head – to be such a snarkfest, but I, for one, am not amused. Statements of intent are worthless if not backed up by action. The Chronicle has made a commitment, and I want to see you live up to it.
    I'll have you know that I missed the sign-up deadline and have not registered to vote. Other politards such as myself have done likewise, and as of this writing, there has been no response from the Chronicle to acknowledge that fact and carry through with the deed announced on the Oct. 3 cover.
    I assure you that your paper will be held accountable for this breach of promise.
    I therefore expect to see the Chronicle publish a full-page color photo of that cute kitten's dead body in your next issue. I am not one of those readers who take lightly issues of journalistic integrity.
    I demand that the Chronicle produce definitive documentary evidence that it has blown that adorable little kitty's brains out all over the freaking place.
    Your honor is on the line here, people. Don't let me down.
Sincerely,
Arch Stanton
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