I thought I had clarified the use of doublespeak for Louis awhile ago, but after his last editorial [“Page Two
,” Jan. 25], I guess I was wrong. Here in the United States of Soviet Republicans, the Reds are well-known for saying one thing and meaning something completely different. For example, when Comrade Cheney says we're fighting for the freedom of Iraq, he means we're fighting so that Halliburton will have a free
flow of money to its coffers. When Chairman Bush says he wants to help the economy, he means that he wants to make sure that the CEOs of his base constituents are not harmed by a sinking economy. When Information Minister Rove writes a speech stating that the Reds support the little people, he means he wants even the short corporate lobbyists to have a fair shot at the public trough. And of course, when the Reds say they want to protect the United States/environment/people/or (fill in appropriate term), they mean they want to preserve their power to do whatever they want. I hope this clears things up for the editor, but if not, have him refer to J. Edgar Hoover's Masters of Deceit: The Story of Communism in America and How to Fight It
. Of course, he needs to replace any reference to communist with conservative.