Sir, Welcome to the United States of Soviet Republicans (USSR)! Here the glorious red state leaders have already determined who will be the victors on Election Day. It doesn't matter whether a candidate is behind by nine points in the polls because the mighty red leaders and their billionaire corporate benefactors control the election machines; who votes for who is of little consequence. On Wednesday Chairman Rove will fire up the red state public relations' machine and will drown out the defeat'o'crats and cut-and-runners, who will be labeled whiners and losers (lose'o'crats). The studies by various university professors showing election fraud, the computer geeks who admit to hacking into the machines, the exit polls showing clear blue victories and the lack of real numbers to back up the election results will be easily drowned out by the powerful right-wing corporate media mouthpieces of Rush, O'Reilly, and Coulter. The "miracle on Tuesday" will be accepted by the multitudes who just want to get back to Dancing With the Stars. Those who still refuse to accept the results will be declared unpatriotic and sympathetic to terrorists and will be taken to Syria for a round of fraternity pranks. Please, don't discuss this letter over the phone with your friends. The reds are listening.