Parish
To 'Chronicle' Film Critics: I Hate You
RECEIVED Thu., April 20, 2006
Dear Editor,
Well, I know this e-mail is being written two years too late, but last night I was filled with so much piss and vinegar after watching the movie The Secret Lives of Dentists [Film Listings, Sept., 5, 2003]. I could not let this unbelievably horrible film go without venting to someone. While watching the movie, I kept flashing back to, what I thought was, a favorable review of this movie. This movie sucked. I'm not just talking about normal suckiness that is usually reserved for the next Deuce Bigalow sequel. I'm talking about highbrow, go nowhere, pretentious, independent, suckitude. You gave this movie three stars? Are you f'ing blind and deaf? I want my 104 minutes back. The movie started and ended with no point whatsoever. There is no pathos for any character, be it wife or husband. The kids are annoying and, at times, completely unnecessary to the plotline. There are so many plot holes and inconsistencies in the plotline it's ridiculous. It's day then night then day again in the same, small time frame. Yeah, yeah I understand, there were days and nights melted together due to the flu problem, but that is regardless. Denis Leary plays a boring version of Brad Pitt in Fight Club. He leaves sullen and sad? What the hell! I'm so sick of good reviews because films are, so-called, independent. Aaarrrggghhh! I hate you for making me watch a totally worthless movie. I want my 104 minutes back!
Well, I know this e-mail is being written two years too late, but last night I was filled with so much piss and vinegar after watching the movie The Secret Lives of Dentists [Film Listings, Sept., 5, 2003]. I could not let this unbelievably horrible film go without venting to someone. While watching the movie, I kept flashing back to, what I thought was, a favorable review of this movie. This movie sucked. I'm not just talking about normal suckiness that is usually reserved for the next Deuce Bigalow sequel. I'm talking about highbrow, go nowhere, pretentious, independent, suckitude. You gave this movie three stars? Are you f'ing blind and deaf? I want my 104 minutes back. The movie started and ended with no point whatsoever. There is no pathos for any character, be it wife or husband. The kids are annoying and, at times, completely unnecessary to the plotline. There are so many plot holes and inconsistencies in the plotline it's ridiculous. It's day then night then day again in the same, small time frame. Yeah, yeah I understand, there were days and nights melted together due to the flu problem, but that is regardless. Denis Leary plays a boring version of Brad Pitt in Fight Club. He leaves sullen and sad? What the hell! I'm so sick of good reviews because films are, so-called, independent. Aaarrrggghhh! I hate you for making me watch a totally worthless movie. I want my 104 minutes back!
Robert Brown
