Noses Thumbed at Soul of South Austin and More

RECEIVED Tue., Oct. 4, 2005

Dear Mr. Editor,
    I find I now have to sit down and write to you about how appalled I am at the vandalism that occurred recently when unknown parties cut off and stole the arms from the statue above Maria's Taco XPress, the famed icon of South Austin on South Lamar. I have always spread my arms to hug this woman; I love her food.
    This is a major crime. It should be obvious to everyone in this burg that this is not just an 'armless prank. These criminals, obviously, are now well-armed and dangerous. The senselessness of it is disarming to us all. I cross my fingers in hopes that the Austin Police Department will take a hands-on approach and elbow aside all other priorities to strong-arm these crooks, doing their best to cuff the wrists of these nefarious evildoers. Our community is up in arms over this theft. Everyone in Austin should give them a hand; we are all comrades-in-arms. Anyone fingering the perpetrators, helping to nail them, deserves a handsome reward. You don't need to be a palm reader to know that we should never knuckle under to any form of vandalism. These pranksters have thumbed their nose at the soul of South Austin. If anyone out there knows who did this crime, by all means, don't keep them at arm's length. Otherwise, we all cut our wrists when we acquiesce to this kind of aggression. The Venus de Milo would agree, eh?
Your pal,
Artly Snuff
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