Recspec Gallery
Don't Be Silly, Brenner's High on Life
RECEIVED Fri., April 16, 2004
Dear Editor,
There are three things worth noting about Wayne Alan Brenner, so let's name them in order and be done with it:
1) If you are ever at a party and you want to stand next to someone really, really nice and really, really cool and really, really enthusiastic about so many things that he is a delight to talk to, then Wayne Alan Brenner is your man. He really is that person you hope to find yourself standing next to whenever you find yourself in a corner at a boring party holding a red plastic cup full of microbrew.
2) He's got a really cool house with really cool stuff in it, including a black millipede that he will enthusiastically place upon your open palms so it can crawl with all its million creepy little legs. I think he has spiders, too, plus all kinds of really cool stuff that he can enthusiastically tell you about, plus you probably won't be able to leave without at least one amazing CD he has discovered lately that he feels you should absolutely positively die over.
3) Most of the time, he writes play reviews that I totally, absolutely, enthusiastically agree with. The operative words of the day: most of the time.
And here's the sad part. I feel it is my duty to write this e-mail as a sort of public service, and as a means of getting Brenner the help he needs. The enormous amount of crack he must have ingested while viewing the latest production by local theatre troupe Gypsy Baby and during the subsequent writing of the review ["Exhibitionism," Arts, April 16] probably would've killed a horse.
I don't know how much crack the man smoked, but it must have been ... like ... a whole big bunch, so much that I, like, don't even want to think about it.
p.s. I still love you, man, but wow, you were so mean!
p.p.s. We are so going to toilet paper your house and steal your millipede!
There are three things worth noting about Wayne Alan Brenner, so let's name them in order and be done with it:
1) If you are ever at a party and you want to stand next to someone really, really nice and really, really cool and really, really enthusiastic about so many things that he is a delight to talk to, then Wayne Alan Brenner is your man. He really is that person you hope to find yourself standing next to whenever you find yourself in a corner at a boring party holding a red plastic cup full of microbrew.
2) He's got a really cool house with really cool stuff in it, including a black millipede that he will enthusiastically place upon your open palms so it can crawl with all its million creepy little legs. I think he has spiders, too, plus all kinds of really cool stuff that he can enthusiastically tell you about, plus you probably won't be able to leave without at least one amazing CD he has discovered lately that he feels you should absolutely positively die over.
3) Most of the time, he writes play reviews that I totally, absolutely, enthusiastically agree with. The operative words of the day: most of the time.
And here's the sad part. I feel it is my duty to write this e-mail as a sort of public service, and as a means of getting Brenner the help he needs. The enormous amount of crack he must have ingested while viewing the latest production by local theatre troupe Gypsy Baby and during the subsequent writing of the review ["Exhibitionism," Arts, April 16] probably would've killed a horse.
I don't know how much crack the man smoked, but it must have been ... like ... a whole big bunch, so much that I, like, don't even want to think about it.
p.s. I still love you, man, but wow, you were so mean!
p.p.s. We are so going to toilet paper your house and steal your millipede!
Love,
Eirik Ott
Eirik Ott
