If You Replace the Word 'Wal-Mart' With 'Libertarian' Would Anything Change?

RECEIVED Fri., Sept. 26, 2003

I recently attended my South River City Citizens neighborhood association meeting. Wal-Mart hate-speech dominated the meeting, typified by member Mark Nathan's contribution, "I hate Wal-Mart." If everyone had replaced the word "Wal-Mart" with "nigger," perhaps the discourse would have resembled when the first African-American moved into Travis Heights, if any ever have. Though there were a few Wal-Mart lovers like me, the only close debate was whether the group should pretend they were concerned about zoning to resist Wal-Mart, or should they outright admit to simply hating all Wal-Marts.
   I visited the I-35 Stassney Wal-Mart last Friday at 10pm. My rough count inside revealed a work force comprising 28 Hispanics, seven blacks, and two whites. I counted 256 shoppers: 193 Hispanic, 27 black, 34 white, and two Oriental. Anti-Wal-Mart fanatics plead for everyone to boycott Wal-Mart. With the dominating Hispanics refusing to cooperate, perhaps the only way to reduce the demand for new Wal-Marts is to deport all the Hispanics to Mexico.
   I've got a better idea. Why don't we keep our Hispanics, blacks, whites, and two Oriental Wal-Mart shoppers, and deport all of the hateful anti-Wal-Mart, white boutique bitches to Cuba with a salamander under each arm. In Cuban paradise, they'd have free health care, free education, two salamanders, no free trade, no globalization, no development, no guns, dead political opposition, and no Wal-Mart! Probably every single white woman at that SRCC meeting was pro-choice when it comes to abortion. Why can't they support a woman's right to choose where to freakin' shop – or work?
   I'd be delighted to give any of you some shopper's sensitivity training via an intellectual tour of my favorite Wal-Mart if you'll buy me a McDonald's milkshake afterward.
Wes Benedict
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