Antone's Nightclub
Better Guns Than Pipes
RECEIVED Tue., Sept. 23, 2003
Dear Editor,
I read with interest Jordan Smith's report last week on the sentencing of Tommy Chong in the aftermath of the daring "Operation Pipe Dreams" ["Weed Watch," Sept. 19]. Like every good God-fearing American, I can sleep a little easier now thanks to John Ashcroft and his fearless crusade against glass blowers and other evildoers bent on thwarting the war against drugs by conniving in the manufacture and supply of pipes and bongs. "People selling drug paraphernalia are in essence no different than drug dealers," in the wise words of John Brown, the acting DEA administrator. "They are as much a part of drug trafficking as silencers are a part of criminal homicide." Funnily enough, though, firearms and silencers continue to be sold on the Internet. But never mind – as with other great efforts by Bush and company to make the world a safer place, I trust that this is just the beginning. Reliable sources inform me that dollar bills can – horribile dictu! – be rolled up and used to ingest cocaine. We won't be out of harm's way until the DEA storms the Federal Reserve and destroys its stockpile of paper currency, liberating the American people once and for all from the dastardly threat of consumerist addiction.
I read with interest Jordan Smith's report last week on the sentencing of Tommy Chong in the aftermath of the daring "Operation Pipe Dreams" ["Weed Watch," Sept. 19]. Like every good God-fearing American, I can sleep a little easier now thanks to John Ashcroft and his fearless crusade against glass blowers and other evildoers bent on thwarting the war against drugs by conniving in the manufacture and supply of pipes and bongs. "People selling drug paraphernalia are in essence no different than drug dealers," in the wise words of John Brown, the acting DEA administrator. "They are as much a part of drug trafficking as silencers are a part of criminal homicide." Funnily enough, though, firearms and silencers continue to be sold on the Internet. But never mind – as with other great efforts by Bush and company to make the world a safer place, I trust that this is just the beginning. Reliable sources inform me that dollar bills can – horribile dictu! – be rolled up and used to ingest cocaine. We won't be out of harm's way until the DEA storms the Federal Reserve and destroys its stockpile of paper currency, liberating the American people once and for all from the dastardly threat of consumerist addiction.
Sincerely,
Conor Roddy
Conor Roddy