LEAH DeVUN: OUR HANDS ON EACH OTHER This artist explores lesbian space while "our hands" explore everything else. Gorgons r go! (See "Heads in the Sky; Feet on the Ground" for more). 6pm. Women & Their Work, 1710 Lavaca, 477-1064. www.womenandtheirwork.org, www.leahdevun.com.
WE ARE THE LIGHT OF LOVE This year's Multifaith Pride Service, bringing together a radically inclusive array of local folks repping a variety of cloths, features mighty real keynoter and golden-throated gospel diva Bishop Yvette Flunder, all the way from San Francisco (though you can't really call someone with such an open-hearted service litany a "diva"). See "Preaching Beyond That Choir" for an interview with Bishop Flunder. 7pm. Unity Church of the Hills, 9905 Anderson Mill, 335-4449. www.unityhills.org/rainbowministry.
TO WONG FOO, THANKS FOR A MAJESTIC EVENING Pat Swayze in pantyhose. That's how we'll always remember him. A moment of silence, please. Thank you. 7:15pm doors, 8pm film, 10pm dance party. Paramount Theatre, 713 Congress, 472-5470. $15, and three levels of VIP $35-1,000. www.austintheatre.org.
MS. SANDRA BERNHARD: WE'RE STILL QUEER HONEY! From the King of Comedy through Roseanne to Ally McBeal, Will & Grace, and the latest Scissor Sisters vid, she's still queer, damn it! And this year, she's going to be here, damn it! Without Sandra, you're nothing. Really. Own it. White Widow, God-Des & She, DJ Mary Coronado, an art show, a drag show featuring Saffire and friends, plus the sassy, mean-pourin' bartenders from Sister's Edge II round out this explosive evening of full-lipped fury. 6pm. Pine Street Station, 1101 E. Fifth, 775-6834. $20 ($15, advance with a VIP option also available). www.district512.com.
PARTY ON THE PORCH WITH PRIDE The Long Center's front porch and one of the best views of our purdy li'l burg serve as backdrop to some lovelies. Here's the lineup: Robin Smith, 7pm; Tribella, 8pm; a very glaring empty space, 9pm; Patrice Pike (one of Pride's proud Grand Marshals), 10pm; and master mixer/remixer DJ Chris Cox (Madge, la Brit, Cher, the Duff, Rihanna, and even Hannah Montana), 11pm. Long Center for the Performing Arts, 701 W. Riverside, 457-5100. $10. www.austinpride2010.org, www.chriscoxonline.com.
YEEHAW! IT'S TEXAS SWING For 15 years, this important fundraiser to support the support services of Project Transitions has been umbrella'd and co-promoted under the Pride banner. For some reason, this year, it has been cast adrift like that sad polar bear mom and her cub on that melting ice flow on that WWF commercial. So, it's more important than ever to get out and support this annual Pride-time tradition. Steam yer Stetson and buff yer Justins, you handsome heehaws; Alvin Crow, the Lost Pines, and the Whiskey Shivers are a-waitin'. It's time to swing! 7pm-12mid. Saengerrunde Hall, 1607 San Jacinto, 454-8646. firstname.lastname@example.org, www.projecttransitions.org/events/texas-swing.
A VERY QUEER BOMB A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma? No, darling. Settle down. (And sirChadness, get that pantywad outta ya crack, boo, it's unsightly.) Queer Bomb exists so that folks can experience a dimension of LGBTQueerness without the stench of schmooze nor the retina burn of corporate logo-tude. (Personally, we prefer our phosphenes to involve orgasm.) It exists for unfettered self-expression. It exists because it has to. It's an evening brought to you by ... you. So what is it? It's not the whole weekend; it's one night. It's a march and a party. Everything begins and ends at the ND. And what happens in the middle involves you dressing and marching like the freak you are (or aren't), some awesome visuals, Christeene, Kings N Things, Little Stolen Moments, DJ Jay Jay Booyah, and DJ Chelsea Starr (she of the longest-running Frisco lezbo dance night, "Hot Pants"). Booyah, indeed. 8:30pm. ND at 501 Studios, 501 N. I-35, 485-3001. Free. email@example.com, www.queerbomb.org.
THE QUEER BOMB PARADE Bring your second-line finery, your flamboyant fandangiary, your 76 trombones down to the ND. No fee. No fetters. You are the parade. From the ND across to East Sixth, over to Sixth Street west of I-35, to Congress, north to Seventh, and back to the ND! Let's bring the big gay love beyond the big gay Fourth & Long ghetto and rep it where it is needed most. With love. Con salsa. And let's nip one misconception in the bud: This is not exclusionary. Bring your Pride of many colors, including vanilla. Join the queers for this one night. It's the bomb. 8:30pm. ND at 501 Studios, 501 N. I-35, 485-3001. Free. firstname.lastname@example.org, www.queerbomb.org.
ATTACK OF THE PANSY DIVISION! Red hot – or more like hot pink – S.F. gay punk gods Pansy Division hit Austin and bring the very queeny Magnifico (no, really, they cover Queen!), Butcher Bear & Charlie, the mondo Buzzcockery of the Orgasm Addicts, and the Alamo's awesomeatronic Hey Homo! DJs along for the ride. (See Recommended, Music). 9pm. Red 7, 611 E. Seventh, 476-8100. www.red7austin.com, www.pansydivision.com.
GRANNY PANTY SHOWS YOU HOW Every Friday, check YouTube for a fresh installment of the finest correspondence course you will ever take: Granny Panty's Charm & Etiquette School for Strippers. It's a peek-a-boo hell-yeah each week, right there in your box. Free. www.flickr.com/photos/granny_panty, www.youtube.com/GrannyPantyBurlesque.
PRIDE 5K RUN Straight allies encouraged! But honey, if you wake up Saturday and your husband says he's "going for a quick run," he might be leaving you for a man. Or a couple hundred men. Just sayin'. Everyone welcome. Especially husbands. Same route as the parade. 9am. Downtown. austinpriderun. email@example.com, www.austinpriderun.com.
PRIDE YOGA IN THE PARK Brooke, Lance, and Todd will downward your dog, plank your dolphin, and even Mudra your Bandha for all we know. But we do know it's free and open to everyone. No badges. Everyone. All proclivities. All levels. All one. All one! 10:30am. Butler District Park, 1000 Barton Springs Rd., 750-8211. Free. firstname.lastname@example.org, events.constantcontact.com/register/ event?oeidk=a07e2wardo8e51a35d6.
PRIDE FESTIVAL 2010 Inside the Long, there's Alan Baker's Connect: Four, AGLIFF showing Bruce LaBruce and cartoons for the kids (umm, hello?), posh lounges and plenty o' swag and branding for the VIPs, a Pride shop where it would be un-American to not spend money, and so much more. (You navigate that hot mess of an online schedule. Hint to Pride junta: Chronological order is your friend!) Outside there's yoga, a Pride run, a pet parade, music with Kat Devlin, contemporary Christian crooner Lindsey Kane, children's rocker Mr. Leebot, soulfully strutting songstress Lisa Marshall, and the Babtist Women, plus the inexplicably hotter-than-Hades, eight-hour Bataan vendor death march. 10am-6pm. Long Center for the Performing Arts, 701 W. Riverside, 457-5100. $10 general; VIP, $175 or $329 pair. www.austinpride.org.
CONNECT: FOUR Nah, not the big, yellow, plastic, Milton Bradley game with all the red and black dots, but four plays by Alan Baker, all connected by the thread of the theme: connection. Noon. Long Center for the Performing Arts, 701 W. Riverside, 457-5100. www.abbyproductions.com.
QUEER UP CHARLIE'S The weekly dance party will be suffused with a soul-filled Saturday of song, starting out low-key and building to a frenzy. Join host Stanley Roy, DJs Love Cat and Faith Gay (between sets), darling Daniel Webb, New Orleanians Skate Night, soul sistah Baby Mama, the lovely Amy Cook, the cheeriffic Queertastics, the bearly legal Nakia, the luscious LZ Love, and some very, very special surprises. Then the floor clears and DJs Bill Converse and Chicken Kiev take you to the other side. Then the other, other side. 6pm. Cheer Up Charlie's, 1104 E. Sixth, 431-2133.
PRIDE PARADE 2010 Same route as last year (north on First Street bridge, east on Cesar Chavez, north on Congress, west on Fourth, stop at OilCan's to use the loo), now with 43% more Grand Marshalage! Sorry, no unicorns. 8:30pm. Downtown. Free to watch, unless they figure out a way to charge you before then. www.austinpride.org.
WHERE THE GIRLS ARE For lo on five years, Foodies' Kitty has thrown the definitive lezzie Pride blast during the parade. So many women, so little pride. ... Positively shameless. Yes, please. 7:30pm. 219 West, 219 W. Fourth, 474-2194. email@example.com.
PRIDE BLOCK PARTY Enjoy the warm gush of the "family"-friendly Fleshjack tent as you await American Idols Frenchie Davis (season 2, disqualified for early career topless photos: Do not tell AGLCC!!!!) and Blake Lewis (Is it just us or does this guy look a lot like last year's Pride president?). DJ Chris Cox rounds out the bill. 7:30pm. Fourth & Colorado. $10.
MARIO CANTONE LAUGH WHORE Hmmmm ... Where to place that comma? Sex and the City BGBF Mario Cantone (no, not the bald one) plays it as safe as a show called "Laugh Whore" can be played in this fambly-friendly Pride. Did anyone tell him there is a parade rolling in his honor ... but too bad he'll be working during it? 6pm. Long Center for the Performing Arts, 701 W. Riverside, 474-LONG. $29-49. www.thelongcenter.org.
HOMOSCOPIN'! Seriously. This weekend's getting more packed than a transman's manties. The scopers at this now-annual queer art blast are fun-ass fundraising. Come throw the dough with DJs smttn-kttnn, Trevin Cox, MANALOG, and Chainsaw Hamwell. Your butt shake shall support visiting art/artists, such as Original Plumbing magazine, Amos Mac, and the one and only Katastrophe. Boyyyyyiiiiiiiii! 9pm. Club 1808, 1808 E. 12th, 524-2519. $5. www.homoscope.org.
LOW & SLOW, JUST THE WAY WE LIKE IT Get down (low) and ooh, grrrl, that's my jam (slow) with the fine folk behind Loose Lips, Austin's own darling and daring Queer Sol! Queer/trans people of color and friends, come on down. East Sixth is causing quite the stir this particular Pride. 10pm. Club Primo's, 1700 E. Sixth, 801-3892. $3-5 donation. firstname.lastname@example.org, www.queersol.org.
BENEFIT FOR JODEE Enjoy $5 barbecue plates and a dunk in the dunk tank for loyal customer Jodee, whose preexisting condition precludes her from obtaining the insurance necessary to deal with a recent stroke. Health care crisis notwithstanding, the gang at BT always comes through in a pinch. 11am. 'Bout Time, 9601 N. I-35, 832-5339. Donations.
KITTY'S POODLE PANTS SUNDAY-GO-TO-MEETIN' PICNIC It's a big, gay, BYO noshies (or visit the many locavore trailers) folderol! Whip out your finest seersucker, high heels, parasols, Sunday crowns, organza, ascots, powdered wigs, what have you, and get ready for the Sunday social of the season. And, of course, fresh young coconuts. DJ L'Air Du Temps shall lovingly spin the lounge fantastic, featuring gentle soothing tones at conversational level: some funk, some down-low, some get-down-ponder, some Sunday gospel, some booty groove, and some X-otica, all with the easing of your digestion in mind. Noon. Cheer Up Charlie's, 1104 E. Sixth, 431-2133.
BEER BUST FOR ASA Burgers, dogs, or BYO meat. You know ... as in eat. This Pride week special benefits AIDS Services of Austin. Stay late (9pm) for Brook Cassidy. 4pm. Rusty Spurs, 405 E. Seventh, 482-9002. Free.
LITTLE STOLEN SUNDAY Fresh off the blast of QueerBomb, Little Stolen Moments, Austin's favorite sappy, sexy purveyors of prance, join Romulus Ate, Zlam Dunk, What in the World, Gretchen's Disco Plague (It's Infectious!), and DJ sets from French Roast and DJ Cez. Be still my beating booty. 9pm. Red 7, 611 E. Seventh, 476-8100. www.red7austin.com, www.littlestolenmoments.com.
Now & Later
PFLAG JUNE MEETING Hey friends and family! Come get some sexual assault awareness as it pertains to LGBT, with special guest speaker Michael Crumrine of the Austin Police Department. Tue., June 8, 6:45-9pm. Live Oak Unitarian Universalist Church, 3315 El Salido, Cedar Park, 512/302-3524. email@example.com, www.pflag-austin.org.
NOT THE FAKE L WORD, THE REAL L WORD HRC hosts the premiere of Showtime's new reality, The Real L Word, a reality certainly influenced by the nonreality of the original L Word. Price includes annual HRC membership, but does it include a chart? Sun., June 20, 4pm. Sister's Edge II, 113 San Jacinto, 457-8010. $10. firstname.lastname@example.org, www.hrc.org/TheRealLWord.
CRUISE WITH MCC Metropolitan Community Church takes to the high seas with this fun-in-the-autumn-sun fundraiser. Plan now for a seven-night Caribbean Cruise launching from G-ton. Departs from Galveston Sun., Nov. 7, 2010. 888/798-6226. www.mccaustin.com, www.rauschgrouptravel.com/mccaustin.html.
HELLO, BOOBY TUESDAYS! No, you're not seeing double. It says what it says: CUC's lady-lubbin-ladies' night. Fresh young coconuts in every sense of the word and DJ Faith Gay keeping you a-spinnin'. Tuesdays, 9pm. Cheer Up Charlie's, 1104 E. Sixth, 431-2133.
LISTEN TO OUTCAST! KOOP = queer! Tweak your knobs (or theirs) to 91.7FM. It's OutCast, for and about the Central Texas LGBT population and beyond. Surely this week's episode will feature some sort of Pride weekend recap. Tuesdays, 6-7pm. KOOP Radio 91.7FM. www.koop.org, www.outcastaustin.com.
CHARLIE'S + KATZ'S Austin's oldest gay club offers a special Katz's menu for lunch every weekday. Come have dinner with family! Mon.-Fri., noon-2pm. Charlie's Austin, 1301 Lavaca, 474-6481.
OUT YOUTH DROP IN High school can be hell, especially for the li'l tyke dykes and fag-o-tots. Our local nonprofit support/drop-in center for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning peeps, ages 12-19, is open to youth three days a week. A place where they can be. Just ... be. Sun. & Wed.-Thu., 4:30-8:30pm. Out Youth House, 909 E. 49th, 419-1233.
CENTRAL TEXAS BOYS OF LEATHER MEETING Shiny, shiny ... shiny boots of leather. Every first Saturday and, on the patio for cookouts, every second Sunday of the month. First Saturdays, 8-10pm; second Sundays, 5-8pm. Chain Drive, 504 Willow, 480-9017. $5 to benefit CTBOL charities. www.ctbol.org.