Bikers' best bets on the highways and byways
bars & Entertainment
Austin’s “Home of the Blues.” The Muddy Waters posters plastered all over the walls might inspire you to forgo wimp drinks in favor of a Sterno; you’ll have to gulp your canned heat in the alley. You are so authentic. 213 W. Fifth, 320-8424. www.antones.net.
Big Star Burlesque
This local troupe of buxom babes boasts their BBW status, or as we like to say, BBR: Big Bootays Represent! Sexy, sultry, and full of tease, the Big Star gals will spice the ROT stages with sass and class throughout the weekend. www.bigstarburlesque.com.
Bikinis Sports Bar & Grill
It’s a sports bar! It’s a grill! It’s a waitress in a bikini! And it’s where a ton of bikers conglomerate to ogle … all that chrome. 6901 N. I-35, 454-2247. www.bikinissportsbarandgrill.com.
Club Escapade 2000
Because partying like it’s 1999. ... Hip-hop, Reggaeton, Tejano: booty-shaking goodness so close to the fairgrounds. Slim Thug appears June 19 during the rally. 6575 Decker, 928-2939.
Cowboy Bar and Paradise Bar
Escape the hot, hot heat in the only air-conditioned bars at the rally. Then heat up again with all the hot, hot chicas and sizzling acts. Consider it your new home at the Expo. 7311 Decker, 854-4900. www.rotrally.com.
Coyote Ugly Saloon
Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Ahhh, the sweet sound of silicone slapping a face. … Good lookin’ Lone Star ladies will dance, sing, spank, and literally bend over backward to ensure a good time. 501 E. Sixth, 236-UGLY. www.coyoteuglysaloon.com/austin.
Detour Bar & Grill
Live music, Corvette Club, karaoke, Texas Hold ‘Em, and of course, Bike Night – so close, yet so far out! man ... in Lakeway. 1113 RR 620 N., 266-2279, www.myspace.com/detouraustin.
We are a newspaper. We do exposés. This Exposé exposes an altogether different sort of exposé.
3615 S. Congress, 447-5353.
Shuffleboard, darts, live yeehaw music, cold Lone Stars, and pool. Texas honky-tonks don’t get much honkier or tonkier than this. 12010 Manchaca, 280-4732. www.giddyups.com.
Knot in the Loop Saloon
The Willow City Loop is arguably the most lovely drive in this Lone Star State, and the Knot in the Loop Saloon is a must-see. The Wild-West-o-Rama and Cowboy Museum will get you there, and the frosty brew is enough to keep you.
RR 1323 at Highway 16, 830/685-3591,
Old-school Austin, this bar was birthed back in 1934. The ancient quarter-sawn oak bar and jukebox alone are worth a visit. 1133 E. 11th, 472-5477. www.eastinns.com.
On one side, a worn wooden bar that goes on forever is full at happy hour and oozes that patented Austin laid-back feel. The other side? Shinier, classier. Going both ways is definitely an option. Good thing that’s trendy these days. 323 E. Sixth, 478-8541.
Mardi Gras Adult Nude Modeling
May we pay them in beads?
10600 N. I-35, 832-8858.
Oh please, there is no way all you hunks of beef in your assless chaps and handlebar mustaches are all straight. Some of you are loud and proud men lovin’ men, some of you are on the DL. Learn the true meaning of a “local” massage. 5815 Airport, 302-9696. www.midtowne.com.
This club turns Red River green in honor of the Mohawk nation, the world’s oldest democracy. The stages are recycled pine, the log tables made from wood recovered after a storm, the walls are recycled – all part of an eco-friendly renovation. 912 Red River, 482-8404.
Palazio Gentlemen’s Club
Here, VIP stands for “very intimate pampering.” Intimate, yet legal. 501 E. Ben White, 445-6655.
East Austin flavor meets the Rat Pack. Impressive cocktails and gorgeous lounge-era decor seem an unlikely match as a Roller Derby hangout, but some teams have been known to frequent these digs. 515 Pedernales, 276-8979.
Poodie’s Hilltop Bar & Grill
Longtime Willie Nelson roadie Poodie Locke is the proprietor of this fabled Hill Country honky-tonk, and it’s open every day, whether or not he’s on the road again. Drop by for great burgers and people-watching. There’s no telling who’ll show up to sit in with the band. 22308 Hwy. 71 W., 512/264-0318. www.poodies.info.
There’s not much out on FM 1102 between New Braunfels and San Marcos late at night, but if you find yourself out there, keep an eye out for the twinkling lights of this friendly roadhouse.
8894 FM 1102, 512/392-3132.
Rock City Icehouse
Patio, pool tables, food, a full bar, and more live music than you can shake a drumstick at. Done up right, as this place is both owned and operated by musicians. 6406 N. I-35 #1100, 467-7244. www.rockcityicehouse.com.
Scoot Inn & Bier Garten
Welcome to the oldest continuously running (since the 1870s) beer joint in Central Texas! It’s where hipsters hang and poetry slams.
1308 E. Fourth, 478-6200. www.eastinns.com.
Hot steaks, cold drinks, and some of Austin’s finest entertainers onstage, on fire, and in your lap. Bike night every Thursday. 404 E. Highland Mall Blvd., 451-1711. www.sugarsperfect.com.
Flat-track floozies? Watch it, mac. These babes may be on eight wheels instead of two, but they will take you down. www.txrollergirls.com.
No need to check your prescriptions. You are not seeing double, and those are their “natural” size. Food. Folks. And funbags.
100 Louis Henna Blvd., 238-7325;
701 E. Stassney Ste. D, 383-9699.
It’s the place to see the naked ladies, when you really want to see the naked ladies. Full nudity served up until 5am on the weekends. BYOB.
3501 Andtree, 929-3558. www.xtccabaret.com.
Cool off, Limb. Here’s the closest public pool to ROT. Whew! Weekdays, 10am-9pm and noon-8pm on the weekends. 1800 E. 51st, 928-0014
Emma Long Park
With pops and hops that’ll make your jaw drop, Emma Long has a motocross trail that lures the mad ones who’d rather muddy up their chrome than show it off. 1706 City Park Rd., 346-1831.
A virtual hub for all bike-rally needs. Details for all national events in one easy-to-read format. Home of nonprofit Bikers Foundation. 5701 Mopac S. #316. www.lightningcustoms.com.
Ride Texas Magazine
Specializing in Texas, oh Texas, and much of the Southwest, this glossy shares maps, details, and reviews. It’s not the No. 1 subscribed-to motorcycle magazine in the Lone Star State for naught.
PO Box 90374, 866/418-5552.
Word around the Hill Country is this place does fried as well as they do frosty. Fried mac ’n’ cheese, mean buffalo wings, and an ice cold anything to wash it all down. 21815 Hwy. 71 W., 264-3777. www.angelsicehouse.com.
Antonio’s Mexican Restaurant
A place where food is “comida,” a beer is a “cerveza,” and their classic margarita is an absolute necessity. 7522-B N. I-35, 419-7070.
Hold those blue margaritas high! They really should come with warning stickers. Muy bueno!
1628 Barton Springs Rd., 474-8774; 13609 N. I-35, 670-9111; 9505-B Stonelake, 795-9000,
5610 N. I-35, 302-1366; 1705-A S. Lakeshore Blvd., 447-1339. www.babyacapulco.com.
Cindy’s Gone Hog Wild
Sure, it’s a bit shiny and new, the drinks are served in clean glasses, and the food won’t put you 6 feet under, but hey, you wanna argue with the thousands of Republic of Texas Rally bikers who congregate here as they pass through in the springtime? Do not miss her homemade potato chips. You need something to wash down all that beer. 5496 Hwy. 71 E., 247-4600, www.cghw.com.
You’re bound to get hungry riding that hog; why not bite down into some of the juiciest ribs, chicken, brisket, and tenderloin around? The closest family-style barbecue to the fairgrounds.
10003 FM 969, 928-0229.
Dragon Express and Pizza To Go
This veritable pupu platter of cuisine is located next to a convenience store out 969 toward Webberville, with a menu filled with traditional Chinese-American yums and pizza.
14300 FM 969, 276-9441.
Habana Calle 6
Mira! Enjoy authentic Cuban cuisine, like a lechón asado slow roasted pork on their balcony, overlooking the courtyard of cobblestone and palm trees. 709 E. Sixth, 443-4252; 2728 S. Congress, 443-4253. www.habana.com.
Harry’s on the Loop
Where the taxidermy competes with the barbecue and the inside walls are covered with the odes and notes of passers-through. Why don’t you come add your 2 cents? FM 1323, 210/685-3553.
Come sample the mad culinary skills of Austin legend Shawn Cirkiel, who makes even the most sophisticated cuisine accessible to the every-guy. In honor of the rally, he’s adding more meat to the menu. 301 E. Sixth, 474-9898.
Ski Shores Waterfront Cafe
Easier found by water than by land. Dog-and family-friendly, this institution is a Lake Austin fave. 2905 Pearce Rd., 346-5915.
Threadgill’s World HQ
Cornerstone of home cooking, located mere yards from the original spot of the legendary Armadillo World HQ, the launchpad of Austin’s cosmic cowboy scene. 6416 N. Lamar, 451-5440; 301 W. Riverside, 472-9304.
You won’t find a larger selection of RVs in South Texas. They keep their personnel up-to-date with the latest technical training, too. An informed shopper is a happy shopper! 15855 S. I-35, 312-1478. www.camperclinic.com.
Colorado River RV Park
This serene little slice of mom-and-pop RV heaven just put the finishing touches on a new above-ground pool and deck and has a few slots left for you to park your trailer or RV. Located on a sweet little crook of the Colorado River about 10 miles east of 183, off Highway 969, make this your home away from ROT. 1124 FM 969, 581-1015. www.coloradoriverrvpark.com.
Oscar’s Food Store
The nice folks at this folksy convenience store and beauty supply outlet near 183 have a patch of land right off 969 and are offering prime, close-to-ROT primitive camping. Primitive, baby. There’s water and not much more, but the price is right. 6215 FM 969, 928-2821.
Hyatt Lost Pines Resort & Spa
Jump on the back of a sturdy steed, tee off, eat a s’more, listen to some native tunesmiths, hang out by the river, then jump into your jammies and cuddle up with some HDTV and million-thread-count linens. Welcome to Lost Pines, buckaroo, where Texas friendly meets the luxury class.
575 Hyatt Lost Pines Rd., 308-1234.
RV Outlet Mall
An array of new and “previously enjoyed” road casitas that’ll make your wheels spin – 18 acres worth. 4500 S. I-35, 930-4922, 800/275-6555, www.rvoutletmall.com.
Super 8 Motel 183 Airport
This brand-new Super 8 is the closest full-service chain motel to the Travis County Expo Center.
5606 E. 51st, 926-5100.
Instead of “No shoes, no shirt, no service,” the sign on this electric scooters shop says, “No noise, emissions, license, insurance, gas, or war.” Now that’s progress. 1122-B S. Lamar, 447-4220.
Antler Creek Cycle Leather
When we asked owner Geoff Rich if they were stocking anything special for ROT, he said, “We are real fat on leathers.” In addition, they offer a weekend discount and be loaded with bags, apparel, helmets, and more. 2122 Oxford, 441-CHAP(2427). www.antler-creek.com.
This is the place for pre-1985 European bikes (Puch, Motobecane, Vespa ...), parts, and where to learn about local moped happenings like rides and rallies. Yes, mopedders have rallies. No snickering. 3222 E. Fifth Ste. 131-A, 389-0189.
ATVs, cycles, scooters, and a staff that loves motor sports almost as much as they love their mothers. Who remind you to wear a helmet, BTW.
714 Hwy. 71 W., 512/321-7200.
Problem? Your ass hurts. Solution? Well, you can either get your seat customized or your bike’s. We recommend the latter. Perhaps the “Wing Soft 1800” can keep your chaps happy?
Bill Kasson Motorcycles
“Family owned and operated” translates into 38 years of consistent Austin Yamaha awesomeness.
2603 S. Congress, 444-7482.
Bud’s Motorcycle Shop
Eye-popping customs, affordable consignments, and a mind-boggling on-site warehouse of parts. 100% Austin, 100% independent. Come on by during rally weekend, especially after you fry your clutch during the parade. 2612 E. Cesar Chavez, 472-8658. www.budsmotorcycleshop.com.
Central Texas Harley-Davidson Round Rock
As one of the main sponsors of this here motorcycle rally, let’s just call this “ROT Central – North.” Giant, gleaming showroom, learn-to-ride classes, and financing options: This ain’t your Bandidos Harley house, that’s for sure.
2801 N. I-35, 652-1200; 804 E. Braker, 973-8521. www.centraltexasharleyroundrock.com.
Central Texas Powersports
With great anticipation, this crotch-rocket haven looks to the July opening of its brand-spanking-new digs and promises to be filled to the gills with Kawasaki, Suzuki, and Yamaha. “Konichiwa, bitches!” 501 N. I-35, 948-9922.
Sexy doesn’t always have to come wrapped in leather. 14106 N. I-35, 670-7444.
Cowboy Harley Davidson
There are gleaming, modern full-service shops, and there are bend-over-backward full-service shops. Cowboy Harley is a little bit of both. Add to that the largest on-hand inventory and free bike pickup, and it’s no wonder why they’re all the buzz. 10917 S. I-35, 448-4294
With so much chrome it’ll make your teeth hurt, this custom shop also boasts the development of the Alias, the world’s first MP3 motorcycle helmet! 209 E. Ben White, 866/963-8215.
Drive-Through Beer Barn
This temporary ROT Rally attraction will make it easy to load up on all your vices at once: Beer, cigs, ice. Wait … ice is not a vice. (Not that ice.)
7311 Decker, 854-4900. www.rotrally.com.
Hello, Moto! Aprilia, Ducati, and Moto Guzzi spoken here. 812 E. Braker, 236-8822.
To those who think “Japanese performance” is an oxymoron, don’t be a moron! Some of your best friends are rice burners, admit it, and this online store has all the parts. PO Box 91326.
Extreme Toys of Texas
How many of you “rebels” are badass enough to pull up to ROT Rally on a pocket bike? Extreme’s got go-carts, ATVs, and cycles for the big kids, too. 312 Old Hwy. 183, 866/315-8333.
You want a chopper, not a bike? These folks’ll build it. Old-school style and charm.
13200 Pond Springs Rd. Ste. B-12, 918-2467
Apples always look juicier wrapped in skin-tight latex with naughty lace accents. This Austin icon tempts with adult toys (imagine your bed as the sandbox) and lingerie. 512 Neches, 478-8358; 108 E. North Loop, 453-8090; 513 E. Sixth, 476-4596. www.forbiddenfruit.com.
It’s a gift shop, a novelty shop, a grow-supply shop, and above all, a smoke shop. Papers, pipes, vapes, and lots of yummy incense to mask, er, accentuate the smoke. 701 E. Fifth, 472-4774; 8519 Burnet Rd., 374-0180
Thirty-thousand square feet of power-sport goodness and the friendliest staff you’ll ever meet – if you go for that sort of thing. 912 Rockmoor, 931-2700. www.georgetownhonda.com.
Giddy-Up Swings ‘n Things
Kiddie swings made to look like hogs and composed of recycled motorcycle tires. Start ’em off young, we say. PO Box 1867, 268-0377, 888/211-8187. www.ponyswings.com/
A full-service, 100% Texas home-grown grocery store, this HEB is the closest to the ROT action out in East Austin. 7112 Ed Bluestein #125, 926-1491. www.heb.com.
Hill Country Custom Cycles
They build them, paint them, and upgrade them. Custom work at its finest. 3101 Tabletop Mountain Dr., 264-7333.
Specializing in Harleys and V-Twins made in the good ol’ USA, Hog Alley is also a great place for hard-to-find parts and accessories. 1525 N. I-35, 930-5475. www.hogalley.net.
Closest gas to ROT central. Also, a full-service car wash, should you need to take a shower.
6575 Decker, 929-1877.
Lone Star BMW/Triumph
The place to go if you’re in the market for a Triumph or Beemer bike or just wanna check out mature men in speed-suits. Knowledgeable, friendly, trustworthy, and fast. 10600 N. Lamar, 512-451-7979. www.lonestarcycle.com.
Because sometimes you have to haul more than just ass. 10806 Hwy. 620, 258-4101.
It’s a dog! On the back of a hog! The Central Texas-made Road Hound (TM) pet carrier was inspired by a little pup named Smokey Jo. You, too, can let your pet live wild and free, riding, ummmmm, bitch. 310-2991. www.moto-pets.com.
Victory, Royal Enfield, Husqvarna, Hyosung – these are the names you’ll find at this independently owned chopper heaven. 12112 RR 620 N., 345-RIDE (7433). www.napalmmotorsports.com.
Onward thru the fog. It’s been their motto and mantra for 40 years. Austin’s beloved head shop still serves up the best smoker’s gear and pop culture memorabilia in the same laid-back style of the 60s. 617 W. 29th, 482-0630; 1931 E. Oltorf, 448-3313. www.oatwillies.com.
Who’d multiple-Tour de France-winner Lance Armstrong call when he needed a rolling film crew? Harley? Nah. A scooter from this joint. You gonna argue with a guy with balls of steel?
112 E. North Loop, 877/245-3512.
Customs, rebuilds, and bolt-ons (for your bike, not your old lady), these guys speak Harley, Harley, and more Harley. Oh, and Hog.
9906 Gray Blvd. Ste. A, 228-2292.
Texas Custom Choppers
New attitude: new management, new crew, renovated and rejuvenated – just like your bike can be, after you leave it at this clean and professional chopper shop. 2203 RR 620 N., 266-2208. www.texascustomchoppers.biz.
KTM and United Motors specialists. Plus, scooters and go-karts! 6208 N. Lamar, 453-6255, 800/570-4079. www.tjs-cycle.com.
Gas prices got your wallet feeling a bit thin? Get a Vespa, and enjoy great gas mileage, as well as the panache that comes with owning one of the coolest scooters on earth.
1623 S. Lamar, 482-8377.
Woods Fun Center
Power sports! Your one-stop shop for ATVs, watercraft, motorcycles, riding apparel, and more. Adrenaline sold separately. 11405 N. I-35, 459-3311. www.woodsfuncenter.com.
Zabor’s Motorcycle Repair
Paul, the main man at this local repair shop, says they’ll be up to asses and elbows with you people the first few days of the rally. While Zabor’s specializes in Japanese late-model repair, they also boast the “cheapest in town for tires” for you Harley types. 8335 Burnet Rd., 467-9484.
AdventureOne Moto Tours
This Austin-based company can help plan your next trip with one of their luxury swoops across the Southwest. 5603 Jim Hogg, 636-3554.
Austin Laser Clinic
Reminded of that one night in Mexico each time you catch Tweety Bird staring at you from your backside? Austin Laser can lighten it or remove it completely at a reasonable cost. If only they could erase the memory … 2310 S. Lamar, 447-7546. www.austinlaserclinic.com.
Black Diamond Hearse
No one wants to use this service anytime soon, but it is strangely comforting to know it’ll be around when you need it. If your uptight family won’t go for it after you ride into the light, put it in your will. 5957 Jones, 979/823-5965.
Two locations for all the facts behind a safe ride. Their motto? “Safety … Learning … Fun!” Well … Hot … Damn! 341-0930. www.motofun.net.
Motorcycle Special Events Team
This group of motorcycle enthusiasts moonlights as two-wheeled registered first responders, dispatch, and medical units. Not so much Hell’s as angels. PO Box 40452. www.mset-tx.org.
Wouldn’t it be great if someone would merge Google Maps with the desire to feel the wind on your face? MotoWhere did just that.
These gorgeous ladies make the big-screen TVs irrelevant. Great eats, great drinks, a cigar room, and free entry with your hotel key.
16511 Bratton Lane, 238-7700.
Home to “Best of Austin” Best Tattoo Artist-winner Karen Slafter, this studio specializes in Japanese, portraits, traditional, and some of Austin’s most coveted color. 2108-D S. Lamar, 851-8288.
Ahem, that’s Rick’s Cabaret International, Inc., to you, bub, and they’ve got over a dozen locations and the NASDAQ listing to prove it. Lends new meaning to the term “power strip.”
8110 Springdale, 929-3939. www.ricks.com.
RideSmart Motorcycle School
Newbie to freedom of two-wheeled living? Skilled racer wanting to shave seconds off your track time? The RideSmart goal is to show both how to accomplish everything safely.469-9491. www.ridesmart.info.
This Best of Austin award-winning shop is filled with highly experienced and specialized artists who will work with you to customize your skin to its rightful graphic beauty. 1313 S. Congress, 444-1313. www.southsidetattoos.com.
Total Rider Motorcycle Safety
You can never be too safe. With courses developed by the Motorcycle Safety Association, this is the first stop before the long ride.
947-8909, 431-3828. www.totalrider.com.
True Blue Tattoo
With so many years of combined experience, this shop swears by its cleanliness, knowledge, and artwork: The golden triumvirate when it comes to permanent art. 607 Red River, 472-2783.