Two-Wheeled Texas

Bikers' best bets on the highways and byways

bars & Entertainment Antone’s Austin’s “Home of the Blues.” The Muddy Waters posters plastered all over the walls might inspire you to forgo wimp drinks in favor of a Sterno; you’ll have to gulp your canned heat in the alley. You are so authentic. 213 W. Fifth, 320-8424. www.antones.net. Big Star Burlesque This local troupe of buxom babes boasts their BBW status, or as we like to say, BBR: Big Bootays Represent! Sexy, sultry, and full of tease, the Big Star gals will spice the ROT stages with sass and class throughout the weekend. www.bigstarburlesque.com. Bikinis Sports Bar & Grill It’s a sports bar! It’s a grill! It’s a waitress in a bikini! And it’s where a ton of bikers conglomerate to ogle … all that chrome. 6901 N. I-35, 454-2247. www.bikinissportsbarandgrill.com. Club Escapade 2000 Because partying like it’s 1999. ... Hip-hop, Reggaeton, Tejano: booty-shaking goodness so close to the fairgrounds. Slim Thug appears June 19 during the rally. 6575 Decker, 928-2939. Cowboy Bar and Paradise Bar Escape the hot, hot heat in the only air-conditioned bars at the rally. Then heat up again with all the hot, hot chicas and sizzling acts. Consider it your new home at the Expo. 7311 Decker, 854-4900. www.rotrally.com. Coyote Ugly Saloon Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Ahhh, the sweet sound of silicone slapping a face. … Good lookin’ Lone Star ladies will dance, sing, spank, and literally bend over backward to ensure a good time. 501 E. Sixth, 236-UGLY. www.coyoteuglysaloon.com/austin. Detour Bar & Grill Live music, Corvette Club, karaoke, Texas Hold ‘Em, and of course, Bike Night – so close, yet so far out! man ... in Lakeway. 1113 RR 620 N., 266-2279, www.myspace.com/detouraustin. Exposé We are a newspaper. We do exposés. This Exposé exposes an altogether different sort of exposé. 3615 S. Congress, 447-5353. www.exposethemensclub.com. Giddy Ups Shuffleboard, darts, live yeehaw music, cold Lone Stars, and pool. Texas honky-tonks don’t get much honkier or tonkier than this. 12010 Manchaca, 280-4732. www.giddyups.com. Knot in the Loop Saloon The Willow City Loop is arguably the most lovely drive in this Lone Star State, and the Knot in the Loop Saloon is a must-see. The Wild-West-o-Rama and Cowboy Museum will get you there, and the frosty brew is enough to keep you. RR 1323 at Highway 16, 830/685-3591, www.willowcitytexas.com. Longbranch Inn Old-school Austin, this bar was birthed back in 1934. The ancient quarter-sawn oak bar and jukebox alone are worth a visit. 1133 E. 11th, 472-5477. www.eastinns.com. Maggie Mae’s On one side, a worn wooden bar that goes on forever is full at happy hour and oozes that patented Austin laid-back feel. The other side? Shinier, classier. Going both ways is definitely an option. Good thing that’s trendy these days. 323 E. Sixth, 478-8541. www.maggiemaesaustin.com. Mardi Gras Adult Nude Modeling May we pay them in beads? 10600 N. I-35, 832-8858. Midtowne Spa Oh please, there is no way all you hunks of beef in your assless chaps and handlebar mustaches are all straight. Some of you are loud and proud men lovin’ men, some of you are on the DL. Learn the true meaning of a “local” massage. 5815 Airport, 302-9696. www.midtowne.com. Mohawk This club turns Red River green in honor of the Mohawk nation, the world’s oldest democracy. The stages are recycled pine, the log tables made from wood recovered after a storm, the walls are recycled – all part of an eco-friendly renovation. 912 Red River, 482-8404. www.mohawkaustin.com. Palazio Gentlemen’s Club Here, VIP stands for “very intimate pampering.” Intimate, yet legal. 501 E. Ben White, 445-6655. www.palaziomensclub.com. The Peacock East Austin flavor meets the Rat Pack. Impressive cocktails and gorgeous lounge-era decor seem an unlikely match as a Roller Derby hangout, but some teams have been known to frequent these digs. 515 Pedernales, 276-8979. www.peacockaustin.com. Poodie’s Hilltop Bar & Grill Longtime Willie Nelson roadie Poodie Locke is the proprietor of this fabled Hill Country honky-tonk, and it’s open every day, whether or not he’s on the road again. Drop by for great burgers and people-watching. There’s no telling who’ll show up to sit in with the band. 22308 Hwy. 71 W., 512/264-0318. www.poodies.info. Riley’s Tavern There’s not much out on FM 1102 between New Braunfels and San Marcos late at night, but if you find yourself out there, keep an eye out for the twinkling lights of this friendly roadhouse. 8894 FM 1102, 512/392-3132. www.rileystavern.com. Rock City Icehouse Patio, pool tables, food, a full bar, and more live music than you can shake a drumstick at. Done up right, as this place is both owned and operated by musicians. 6406 N. I-35 #1100, 467-7244. www.rockcityicehouse.com. Scoot Inn & Bier Garten Welcome to the oldest continuously running (since the 1870s) beer joint in Central Texas! It’s where hipsters hang and poetry slams. 1308 E. Fourth, 478-6200. www.eastinns.com. Sugar’s Hot steaks, cold drinks, and some of Austin’s finest entertainers onstage, on fire, and in your lap. Bike night every Thursday. 404 E. Highland Mall Blvd., 451-1711. www.sugarsperfect.com. Texas Rollergirls Flat-track floozies? Watch it, mac. These babes may be on eight wheels instead of two, but they will take you down. www.txrollergirls.com. Twin Peaks No need to check your prescriptions. You are not seeing double, and those are their “natural” size. Food. Folks. And funbags. 100 Louis Henna Blvd., 238-7325; 701 E. Stassney Ste. D, 383-9699. XTC Cabaret It’s the place to see the naked ladies, when you really want to see the naked ladies. Full nudity served up until 5am on the weekends. BYOB. 3501 Andtree, 929-3558. www.xtccabaret.com. recreation Bartholomew Pool Cool off, Limb. Here’s the closest public pool to ROT. Whew! Weekdays, 10am-9pm and noon-8pm on the weekends. 1800 E. 51st, 928-0014 www.cityofaustin.org/parks/aquatics.htm. Emma Long Park With pops and hops that’ll make your jaw drop, Emma Long has a motocross trail that lures the mad ones who’d rather muddy up their chrome than show it off. 1706 City Park Rd., 346-1831. www.cityofaustin.org/parks/emmalong.htm. Lightning Customs A virtual hub for all bike-rally needs. Details for all national events in one easy-to-read format. Home of nonprofit Bikers Foundation. 5701 Mopac S. #316. www.lightningcustoms.com. Ride Texas Magazine Specializing in Texas, oh Texas, and much of the Southwest, this glossy shares maps, details, and reviews. It’s not the No. 1 subscribed-to motorcycle magazine in the Lone Star State for naught. PO Box 90374, 866/418-5552. www.texmoto.com. Food Angel’s Icehouse Word around the Hill Country is this place does fried as well as they do frosty. Fried mac ’n’ cheese, mean buffalo wings, and an ice cold anything to wash it all down. 21815 Hwy. 71 W., 264-3777. www.angelsicehouse.com. Antonio’s Mexican Restaurant A place where food is “comida,” a beer is a “cerveza,” and their classic margarita is an absolute necessity. 7522-B N. I-35, 419-7070. www.antoniostexmex.com. Baby Acapulco’s Hold those blue margaritas high! They really should come with warning stickers. Muy bueno! 1628 Barton Springs Rd., 474-8774; 13609 N. I-35, 670-9111; 9505-B Stonelake, 795-9000, 5610 N. I-35, 302-1366; 1705-A S. Lakeshore Blvd., 447-1339. www.babyacapulco.com. Cindy’s Gone Hog Wild Sure, it’s a bit shiny and new, the drinks are served in clean glasses, and the food won’t put you 6 feet under, but hey, you wanna argue with the thousands of Republic of Texas Rally bikers who congregate here as they pass through in the springtime? Do not miss her homemade potato chips. You need something to wash down all that beer. 5496 Hwy. 71 E., 247-4600, www.cghw.com. Donn’s BBQ You’re bound to get hungry riding that hog; why not bite down into some of the juiciest ribs, chicken, brisket, and tenderloin around? The closest family-style barbecue to the fairgrounds. 10003 FM 969, 928-0229. www.donns-bbq.com. Dragon Express and Pizza To Go This veritable pupu platter of cuisine is located next to a convenience store out 969 toward Webberville, with a menu filled with traditional Chinese-American yums and pizza. 14300 FM 969, 276-9441. Habana Calle 6 Mira! Enjoy authentic Cuban cuisine, like a lechón asado slow roasted pork on their balcony, overlooking the courtyard of cobblestone and palm trees. 709 E. Sixth, 443-4252; 2728 S. Congress, 443-4253. www.habana.com. Harry’s on the Loop Where the taxidermy competes with the barbecue and the inside walls are covered with the odes and notes of passers-through. Why don’t you come add your 2 cents? FM 1323, 210/685-3553. Parkside Come sample the mad culinary skills of Austin legend Shawn Cirkiel, who makes even the most sophisticated cuisine accessible to the every-guy. In honor of the rally, he’s adding more meat to the menu. 301 E. Sixth, 474-9898. www.parkside-austin.com. Ski Shores Waterfront Cafe Easier found by water than by land. Dog-and family-friendly, this institution is a Lake Austin fave. 2905 Pearce Rd., 346-5915. www.skishores.com. Threadgill’s World HQ Cornerstone of home cooking, located mere yards from the original spot of the legendary Armadillo World HQ, the launchpad of Austin’s cosmic cowboy scene. 6416 N. Lamar, 451-5440; 301 W. Riverside, 472-9304. www.threadgills.com. Lodging Camper Clinic You won’t find a larger selection of RVs in South Texas. They keep their personnel up-to-date with the latest technical training, too. An informed shopper is a happy shopper! 15855 S. I-35, 312-1478. www.camperclinic.com. Colorado River RV Park This serene little slice of mom-and-pop RV heaven just put the finishing touches on a new above-ground pool and deck and has a few slots left for you to park your trailer or RV. Located on a sweet little crook of the Colorado River about 10 miles east of 183, off Highway 969, make this your home away from ROT. 1124 FM 969, 581-1015. www.coloradoriverrvpark.com. Oscar’s Food Store The nice folks at this folksy convenience store and beauty supply outlet near 183 have a patch of land right off 969 and are offering prime, close-to-ROT primitive camping. Primitive, baby. There’s water and not much more, but the price is right. 6215 FM 969, 928-2821. Hyatt Lost Pines Resort & Spa Jump on the back of a sturdy steed, tee off, eat a s’more, listen to some native tunesmiths, hang out by the river, then jump into your jammies and cuddle up with some HDTV and million-thread-count linens. Welcome to Lost Pines, buckaroo, where Texas friendly meets the luxury class. 575 Hyatt Lost Pines Rd., 308-1234. www.lostpines.hyatt.com. RV Outlet Mall An array of new and “previously enjoyed” road casitas that’ll make your wheels spin – 18 acres worth. 4500 S. I-35, 930-4922, 800/275-6555, www.rvoutletmall.com. Super 8 Motel 183 Airport This brand-new Super 8 is the closest full-service chain motel to the Travis County Expo Center. 5606 E. 51st, 926-5100. gear Alien Scooters Instead of “No shoes, no shirt, no service,” the sign on this electric scooters shop says, “No noise, emissions, license, insurance, gas, or war.” Now that’s progress. 1122-B S. Lamar, 447-4220. www.alienscooters.com. Antler Creek Cycle Leather When we asked owner Geoff Rich if they were stocking anything special for ROT, he said, “We are real fat on leathers.” In addition, they offer a weekend discount and be loaded with bags, apparel, helmets, and more. 2122 Oxford, 441-CHAP(2427). www.antler-creek.com. Austin Mopeds This is the place for pre-1985 European bikes (Puch, Motobecane, Vespa ...), parts, and where to learn about local moped happenings like rides and rallies. Yes, mopedders have rallies. No snickering. 3222 E. Fifth Ste. 131-A, 389-0189. www.austinmopeds.com. Bastrop Powersports ATVs, cycles, scooters, and a staff that loves motor sports almost as much as they love their mothers. Who remind you to wear a helmet, BTW. 714 Hwy. 71 W., 512/321-7200. www.bastroppowersports.com. Bike Solutions Problem? Your ass hurts. Solution? Well, you can either get your seat customized or your bike’s. We recommend the latter. Perhaps the “Wing Soft 1800” can keep your chaps happy? 394-9601. www.bikesolutionsllc.com. Bill Kasson Motorcycles “Family owned and operated” translates into 38 years of consistent Austin Yamaha awesomeness. 2603 S. Congress, 444-7482. www.kassonmotorcycles.com. Bud’s Motorcycle Shop Eye-popping customs, affordable consignments, and a mind-boggling on-site warehouse of parts. 100% Austin, 100% independent. Come on by during rally weekend, especially after you fry your clutch during the parade. 2612 E. Cesar Chavez, 472-8658. www.budsmotorcycleshop.com. Central Texas Harley-Davidson Round Rock As one of the main sponsors of this here motorcycle rally, let’s just call this “ROT Central – North.” Giant, gleaming showroom, learn-to-ride classes, and financing options: This ain’t your Bandidos Harley house, that’s for sure. 2801 N. I-35, 652-1200; 804 E. Braker, 973-8521. www.centraltexasharleyroundrock.com. Central Texas Powersports With great anticipation, this crotch-rocket haven looks to the July opening of its brand-spanking-new digs and promises to be filled to the gills with Kawasaki, Suzuki, and Yamaha. “Konichiwa, bitches!” 501 N. I-35, 948-9922. www.ctpowersports.com. Cindie’s Lingerie Sexy doesn’t always have to come wrapped in leather. 14106 N. I-35, 670-7444. www.cindies.com. Cowboy Harley Davidson There are gleaming, modern full-service shops, and there are bend-over-backward full-service shops. Cowboy Harley is a little bit of both. Add to that the largest on-hand inventory and free bike pickup, and it’s no wonder why they’re all the buzz. 10917 S. I-35, 448-4294 www.cowboyharleyaustin.com. Dream Cycle With so much chrome it’ll make your teeth hurt, this custom shop also boasts the development of the Alias, the world’s first MP3 motorcycle helmet! 209 E. Ben White, 866/963-8215. www.mydreamcycle.com. Drive-Through Beer Barn This temporary ROT Rally attraction will make it easy to load up on all your vices at once: Beer, cigs, ice. Wait … ice is not a vice. (Not that ice.) 7311 Decker, 854-4900. www.rotrally.com. Ducati Austin Hello, Moto! Aprilia, Ducati, and Moto Guzzi spoken here. 812 E. Braker, 236-8822. www.motoaustin.com. Dynoman Performance To those who think “Japanese performance” is an oxymoron, don’t be a moron! Some of your best friends are rice burners, admit it, and this online store has all the parts. PO Box 91326. www.dynoman.net. Extreme Toys of Texas How many of you “rebels” are badass enough to pull up to ROT Rally on a pocket bike? Extreme’s got go-carts, ATVs, and cycles for the big kids, too. 312 Old Hwy. 183, 866/315-8333. www.extremetoysoftexas.com. Flyrite Choppers You want a chopper, not a bike? These folks’ll build it. Old-school style and charm. 13200 Pond Springs Rd. Ste. B-12, 918-2467 www.flyritechoppers.com. Forbidden Fruit Apples always look juicier wrapped in skin-tight latex with naughty lace accents. This Austin icon tempts with adult toys (imagine your bed as the sandbox) and lingerie. 512 Neches, 478-8358; 108 E. North Loop, 453-8090; 513 E. Sixth, 476-4596. www.forbiddenfruit.com. Gas Pipe It’s a gift shop, a novelty shop, a grow-supply shop, and above all, a smoke shop. Papers, pipes, vapes, and lots of yummy incense to mask, er, accentuate the smoke. 701 E. Fifth, 472-4774; 8519 Burnet Rd., 374-0180 Georgetown Honda Thirty-thousand square feet of power-sport goodness and the friendliest staff you’ll ever meet – if you go for that sort of thing. 912 Rockmoor, 931-2700. www.georgetownhonda.com. Giddy-Up Swings ‘n Things Kiddie swings made to look like hogs and composed of recycled motorcycle tires. Start ’em off young, we say. PO Box 1867, 268-0377, 888/211-8187. www.ponyswings.com/ motorcycletireswing.html. HEB A full-service, 100% Texas home-grown grocery store, this HEB is the closest to the ROT action out in East Austin. 7112 Ed Bluestein #125, 926-1491. www.heb.com. Hill Country Custom Cycles They build them, paint them, and upgrade them. Custom work at its finest. 3101 Tabletop Mountain Dr., 264-7333. www.hillcountrycustomcycles.com. Hog Alley Specializing in Harleys and V-Twins made in the good ol’ USA, Hog Alley is also a great place for hard-to-find parts and accessories. 1525 N. I-35, 930-5475. www.hogalley.net. JD’s Conoco Closest gas to ROT central. Also, a full-service car wash, should you need to take a shower. 6575 Decker, 929-1877. Lone Star BMW/Triumph The place to go if you’re in the market for a Triumph or Beemer bike or just wanna check out mature men in speed-suits. Knowledgeable, friendly, trustworthy, and fast. 10600 N. Lamar, 512-451-7979. www.lonestarcycle.com. Magnum Trailers Because sometimes you have to haul more than just ass. 10806 Hwy. 620, 258-4101. www.magnumtrailers.com. Moto Pets It’s a dog! On the back of a hog! The Central Texas-made Road Hound (TM) pet carrier was inspired by a little pup named Smokey Jo. You, too, can let your pet live wild and free, riding, ummmmm, bitch. 310-2991. www.moto-pets.com. Napalm Motorsports Victory, Royal Enfield, Husqvarna, Hyosung – these are the names you’ll find at this independently owned chopper heaven. 12112 RR 620 N., 345-RIDE (7433). www.napalmmotorsports.com. Oat Willie’s Onward thru the fog. It’s been their motto and mantra for 40 years. Austin’s beloved head shop still serves up the best smoker’s gear and pop culture memorabilia in the same laid-back style of the 60s. 617 W. 29th, 482-0630; 1931 E. Oltorf, 448-3313. www.oatwillies.com. Scooter Revolution Who’d multiple-Tour de France-winner Lance Armstrong call when he needed a rolling film crew? Harley? Nah. A scooter from this joint. You gonna argue with a guy with balls of steel? 112 E. North Loop, 877/245-3512. www.scooterrevolution.com. Shamrock Cycles Customs, rebuilds, and bolt-ons (for your bike, not your old lady), these guys speak Harley, Harley, and more Harley. Oh, and Hog. 9906 Gray Blvd. Ste. A, 228-2292. www.shamrockcyclestx.com. Texas Custom Choppers New attitude: new management, new crew, renovated and rejuvenated – just like your bike can be, after you leave it at this clean and professional chopper shop. 2203 RR 620 N., 266-2208. www.texascustomchoppers.biz. TJ’s Cycle KTM and United Motors specialists. Plus, scooters and go-karts! 6208 N. Lamar, 453-6255, 800/570-4079. www.tjs-cycle.com. Vespa Austin Gas prices got your wallet feeling a bit thin? Get a Vespa, and enjoy great gas mileage, as well as the panache that comes with owning one of the coolest scooters on earth. 1623 S. Lamar, 482-8377. www.vespaaustin.com. Woods Fun Center Power sports! Your one-stop shop for ATVs, watercraft, motorcycles, riding apparel, and more. Adrenaline sold separately. 11405 N. I-35, 459-3311. www.woodsfuncenter.com. Zabor’s Motorcycle Repair Paul, the main man at this local repair shop, says they’ll be up to asses and elbows with you people the first few days of the rally. While Zabor’s specializes in Japanese late-model repair, they also boast the “cheapest in town for tires” for you Harley types. 8335 Burnet Rd., 467-9484. Services AdventureOne Moto Tours This Austin-based company can help plan your next trip with one of their luxury swoops across the Southwest. 5603 Jim Hogg, 636-3554. www.adventureonetours.com. Austin Laser Clinic Reminded of that one night in Mexico each time you catch Tweety Bird staring at you from your backside? Austin Laser can lighten it or remove it completely at a reasonable cost. If only they could erase the memory … 2310 S. Lamar, 447-7546. www.austinlaserclinic.com. Black Diamond Hearse No one wants to use this service anytime soon, but it is strangely comforting to know it’ll be around when you need it. If your uptight family won’t go for it after you ride into the light, put it in your will. 5957 Jones, 979/823-5965. www.bdmotorcyclehearse.com. Motofun.net Two locations for all the facts behind a safe ride. Their motto? “Safety … Learning … Fun!” Well … Hot … Damn! 341-0930. www.motofun.net. Motorcycle Special Events Team This group of motorcycle enthusiasts moonlights as two-wheeled registered first responders, dispatch, and medical units. Not so much Hell’s as angels. PO Box 40452. www.mset-tx.org. MotoWhere Wouldn’t it be great if someone would merge Google Maps with the desire to feel the wind on your face? MotoWhere did just that. www.motowhere.com. Perfect 10 These gorgeous ladies make the big-screen TVs irrelevant. Great eats, great drinks, a cigar room, and free entry with your hotel key. 16511 Bratton Lane, 238-7700. www.sugarsperfect.com. Resurrection Tattoo Home to “Best of Austin” Best Tattoo Artist-winner Karen Slafter, this studio specializes in Japanese, portraits, traditional, and some of Austin’s most coveted color. 2108-D S. Lamar, 851-8288. www.reztattoo.com. Rick’s Cabaret Ahem, that’s Rick’s Cabaret International, Inc., to you, bub, and they’ve got over a dozen locations and the NASDAQ listing to prove it. Lends new meaning to the term “power strip.” 8110 Springdale, 929-3939. www.ricks.com. RideSmart Motorcycle School Newbie to freedom of two-wheeled living? Skilled racer wanting to shave seconds off your track time? The RideSmart goal is to show both how to accomplish everything safely.469-9491. www.ridesmart.info. Southside Tattoo This Best of Austin award-winning shop is filled with highly experienced and specialized artists who will work with you to customize your skin to its rightful graphic beauty. 1313 S. Congress, 444-1313. www.southsidetattoos.com. Total Rider Motorcycle Safety You can never be too safe. With courses developed by the Motorcycle Safety Association, this is the first stop before the long ride. 947-8909, 431-3828. www.totalrider.com. True Blue Tattoo With so many years of combined experience, this shop swears by its cleanliness, knowledge, and artwork: The golden triumvirate when it comes to permanent art. 607 Red River, 472-2783. www.truebluetattoo.com.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for almost 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

More by Kate X Messer
The Gay Place: It's Aliiive!
It's Aliiive!
You can't keep a Gay Place down; just ask Sarah Marloff

Jan. 20, 2016

Gay Place: I'm Not Gonna Miss You
Gay Place: I'm Not Gonna Miss You

Jan. 15, 2016

More by Terry Ornelas Woodroffe
Anything for <i>La Bamba</i>!
Anything for La Bamba!
Beer, popcorn, and "Bidi Bidi Bom Bom"

Nov. 14, 2014

Best of Austin In Memoriam: Phillip Adams
Best of Austin In Memoriam: Phillip Adams
On this day of remembrance, we honor the memory of a Best of Austin friend

Nov. 2, 2014

One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Can't keep up with happenings around town? We can help.

Austin's queerest news and events

New recipes and food news delivered Mondays

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle