2001 Kids' Summer Fun Guide
By Wayne Alan Brenner, Fri., May 4, 2001
Fiercest Five Off-the-Beaten-Path Kids' Activities
EXOTIC PET STORES Look, we've had it up to here with puppies and kittens and bunnies and all the other cloyingly precious manifestations of the domesticated animal kingdom. Do your kid a favor and take him (or her, especially, because she'll likely have already been half-brainwashed into abhoring any creature that isn't large of eye and brimming with downy pelt) to Herpeton or ZooKeeper or some other store specializing in the reptilian, the amphibian, even the insectian and arachnoid species. You can watch them -- snakes, lizards, frogs, spiders, et al. -- in their cages and artificial habitats and maybe even take some out for a test drive. Any kid might enjoy, and will certainly never forget, having a 10-inch African millipede crawl across his or her arm, the bug's dark and chitinous segments shifting like so many strata of time in the history of evolution. You really wanna practice diversification? Then it's time to help the nature-loving kiddos of this new century move beyond the merely mammalian.BUBBLES IN THE CITY SKYLINE First, get you a couple bottles of bubble juice, the kind that come with their own bubble wands. Then wait till dark. Then take your kid and head for the roof or topmost accessible level of your favorite multistoried downtown parking garage. The upper levels tend to remain car-free, especially at night, so there's little risk of danger; also, there's usually a high-enough border around the roof's edge to prevent inappropriate plummeting. You can hang out there with your child and revel in the feeling of being Above It All, and send flotilla upon flotilla of bubbles wafting into the urban sky. Take the opportunity to teach a lesson in the physics of atmospheric pressure, or simply break out some apple juice, sandwiches, and chips and have a picnic up there under the stars.
THEATRICAL SET-BUILDING Does your kid help you around the house by sweeping, emptying trash, maybe even painting the odd bit of furniture? If so, and if that kid's disciplined enough to help you help some friendly strangers, why not volunteer the both of y'all as production assistants? There are many local theatre companies that need help building sets or in getting their spaces cleaned up for opening night, and they might be pleased to have a smaller pair of hands helping out alongside the grownups. Two hours is a short enough time for your kid to find more fun than boredom in the process. And if the play itself is appropriate to the kid's age and experience, y'all can enjoy the staged spectacle you had an important part in creating. Why condemn kids to simply consume entertainment when they can actually participate in it?
GRAFFITI TOUR Choose a section of the city, and take a walking tour of the displays of spraypaint art on the sides of buildings, dumpsters, and fences and so on. You can talk about the concepts of private property and the perceived vandalism thereof, counterpoint these with discussions of aesthetics and the appropriate use of public viewing space, and discuss with your child -- who's sure to have an opinion about it -- which bit of graffiti improves the look of its background and which bit detracts from the general excellence and why. As an additional treat, you could consider the impact of postering and play Spot-the-Giant, rewarding the child with a Shepherd Fairey sticker for each dozen Andre-based graphic noted.
CONSUMER ADVOCACY Find out what commercial products your children hate and why. Maybe they're offended by Digimon because they think it's a rip-off of Pokemon. Perhaps there's a brand of scooters with particularly unappealing design elements. Help your kid research these products, finding out who's responsible for their manufacture, distribution, and promotion. Make sure you get the names and addresses of the folks in charge, then coach Junior in writing letters of dissatisfaction that delineate precisely why the product in question totally sucks and why y'all's hard-earned cash will continue going precisely elsewhere. Address, stamp, and mail. While you wait for a response, you may want to screen a few Michael Moore videos and introduce your kid to the phrase "Run it up the flagpole and see who salutes."