Features

The Mission Statement of Addison DeWitt

1. I reserve the right to SHIVER constantly.

2. I reserve the right to look WORRIED all the time.

3. I reserve the right to HOP in circles.

4. I reserve the right to retain my SUNROOF.

5. I reserve the right to sound like a CHICKEN when I bark.

6. I reserve the right to express myself through PRANCING.

7. I reserve the right to become POSSESSED and have SEIZURES.

8. I reserve the right to URINATE on your bed.

9. I reserve the right to have Miss Caswell BITE my weenie.

10. I reserve the right to be treated like an INFERIOR because I AM the runt.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for almost 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

READ MORE
More by Stephen MacMillan Moser
After a Fashion: A Stitch In Time
After a Fashion: A Stitch In Time
Fort Lonesome will not be lonely for long

July 5, 2013

After a Fashion: The Main Event
After a Fashion: The Main Event
Your Style Avatar would look great sporting these parasols

June 28, 2013

MORE IN THE ARCHIVES
NEWSLETTERS
One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Can't keep up with happenings around town? We can help.

Austin's queerest news and events

New recipes and food news delivered Mondays

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle