Gold

Oh, those heady days of the early Eighties. I was but a wee child, but I definitely remember. Apropos to this review, I remember a particular song from this time from the group Spandau Ballet (look them up, kids). They had a semi-hit in the UK and the U.S. with a song called “Gold.” The video features a young Sadie Frost painted gold, running around and being, well, gold. Anyway, unfortunately for me, it’s all I kept thinking about as the movie went on. You’d think a pop song from the Eighties wouldn’t have anything to do with this movie, but oh yes, readers, it does.

Gold stars former Disney star Efron in a role that might actually surprise you. He’s Man One. So, of course, that means there’s a Man Two (played by writer/director of the film, Hayes). The premise of the film is very basic. Man One is in the desert in the middle of nowhere. He’s hitching a ride with Man Two on the way to a place where there might be jobs for One. This desert is brutal, hot, dry, and full of animals ready to eat them. They stop along the way and find a giant gold nugget. Like, it’s the size of a huge boulder. They can’t move it, so Two goes to get an excavator, leaving One to stay with the gold. Two is going to be gone about a week (it’s a big desert) and One just has to survive until he gets back.

Gold is fine. It looks good. The story isn’t anything new. It’s really all about Efron here, and he’s trying, bless him. It’s definitely not a glamorous role: A week out in the desert with little to no shelter, water, and food will fuck you up. It did start feeling like as much of a slog as what Man One goes through, as there’s only so much Efron can do out there waiting for Man Two to return. Both Efron and Hayes do a pretty good job here, though, so if you’re ready for 90-odd minutes of relentless desert scenes with Efron struggling to survive, then this movie is for you.

“Gold/ I’m glad that you’re bound to return/ There’s something I could have learned/ You’re indestructible/ Always believe in …”