Show Dogs

Show Dogs

2018, PG, 92 min. Directed by Raja Gosnell. Voices by Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Stanley Tucci, Shaquille O’Neal, RuPaul, Alan Cumming. Starring Will Arnett, Omar Chaparro, Andy Beckwith, Kerry Shale, Oliver Tompsett, Natasha Lyonne.

REVIEWED By Steve Davis, Fri., May 25, 2018

In this stupefyingly inane buddy-cop comedy featuring a cast of talking canines, a macho NYPD rottweiler named Max goes undercover to compete in a prestigious Las Vegas dog show as part of an assignment to bust up an international animal smuggling ring that’s stolen a precious baby panda to be sold on the black market. Tagging along on a short leash is his initially resistant human partner Frank (Arnett), an oddly tanned FBI agent who eventually becomes the Turner to Max’s Hooch as the two bond to become a team. In preparing Max for competition, a reticent Frank proves to be dog’s best friend by not only applying bikini wax to the area surrounding the hound’s private parts, but also fondling the animal’s nutsack repeatedly to acclimate him to the inevitable unwelcome physical inspection of the crown jewels during the rounds. In later explaining how he was able to endure this humiliation at the hands of the judge without growling, Max reveals that he simply went to his “happy place.” And who says they don’t make movies for kids anymore?

When things get slow in Show Dogs – which is roughly for its entire running length – you’re likely to find yourself hypnotized by the CGI transforming the dogs’ muzzles into humanlike orifices that articulate the inarticulate dialogue in Max Botkin and Marc Hyman’s script. It’s mesmerizing, really, in a creepily anthropomorphic way: those bared lips, those dark gums, those razor-sharp teeth (so many!), all synchronized in a way to suggest the unsettling appearance of a critter on the verge of showing signs of rabies. This special effect was cute over 30 years ago, when a sweet little pig charmed movie audiences in a lovely tale about the power of kindness, but it comes off as mouthy here without any similar gravitas to legitimize it.

As for the vocalizations provided on behalf of the movie’s canines, Ludacris’ feisty Max comes off best, while Stanley Tucci’s French-inflected accent for the papillon Philippe, a spoiled former champion who misses the high life, laughably sounds like the love child of Maurice Chevalier and Gérard Depardieu. But when RuPaul makes a cameo oral appearance midway in the film as a ratchet bitch with a banjee swagger, rest assured that’s not the last you’ve heard from her, with a reappearance near the end signaling the possibility of a sequel. Oh no, she didn’t! If this film had any lick of dog sense, it would just sashay away.

Editor's note: this review was written and published before the studio announced it was recutting the film due to audience complaints.

Showtimes

Cinemark Movies 8 Round Rock

2120 N. Mays, Round Rock, 512/388-2848

Discounts daily before 5pm.

Fri., June 22

digital 12:30, 6:20

Sat., June 23

digital 12:30, 6:20

Sun., June 24

digital 12:30, 6:20

Mon., June 25

digital 12:30, 6:20

Tue., June 26

digital 12:30, 6:20

Wed., June 27

digital 12:30, 6:20

Thu., June 28

digital 12:30, 6:20

Southwest Theaters at Lake Creek 7

13729 Research #1500, 512/291-3158, www.southwesttheaters.com

matinees $2, 6pm and after $3, $1.50 extra for 3-D; $6 for special engagements

Fri., June 22

CC 11:00am, 1:15

Sat., June 23

CC 11:00am, 1:15

Sun., June 24

CC 1:15

Mon., June 25

CC 11:00am, 1:15

Tue., June 26

CC 11:00am, 1:15

Wed., June 27

CC 11:00am, 1:15

Thu., June 28

CC 11:00am, 1:15

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for over 36 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

READ MORE
More Raja Gosnell Films
The Smurfs 2
The Smurfs invade Paris. (Must've heard Jerry Lewis is a god there.)

Steve Davis, Aug. 2, 2013

The Smurfs
Line up for your innoculations: We've been Smurfed.

Marjorie Baumgarten, July 29, 2011

More by Steve Davis
Breath
Australian surfer dudes come of age in this literary adaptation.

June 15, 2018

The Seagull
Chekhov's tale of Muscovite misery takes unsteady flight.

June 1, 2018

KEYWORDS FOR THIS FILM

Show Dogs, Raja Gosnell, Will Arnett, Omar Chaparro, Andy Beckwith, Kerry Shale, Oliver Tompsett, Natasha Lyonne

MORE IN THE ARCHIVES
NEWSLETTERS
AC Daily, Events and Promotions, Luvdoc Answers

Breaking news, recommended events, and more

Official Chronicle events, promotions, and giveaways

Updates for SXSW 2018

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle