Taming the Screaming Toddler That Is Social Media

Count yourself lucky if you’ve never had the awkward experience of trying to mend fences IRL after an argument on social media. What was intended as a way to connect with others at times has an isolating effect, and with the distance afforded by the platforms, we’re often not our best selves online.

In a SXSW Online panel titled “Unravelling the Social Dilemma,” Jeremy Hollow of Listen & Learn Research and Jillian Ney, digital behavioral scientist at the Social Intelligence Lab, dove into the complex issues around social media and proposed possible solutions for its problems. The thesis: Social media is a child, and we must help it mature.

At its best, social media is a way to connect with family and friends, discover and share ideas, enjoy entertainment, and effect positive change. But its lack of boundaries has allowed the spread of misinformation, bullying, and abuse by nefarious parties who’ve figured out how to exploit the data users innocently provide to the platforms. Correcting these negative consequences is a shared responsibility, the panelists said, but someone needs to step up. Social networks are reluctant to take responsibility, and lawmakers may not understand the complexity of the issues. The panelists suggested this “someone” could be the user, and asked, “Are you in?”

To illustrate the paradoxical public intimacy of social media, Hollow pointed out that a quarter of pregnancies end in miscarriage, a traumatic personal experience that can be isolating. But those experiencing it often turn to social media for support and comfort. The veil of anonymity breaks down a barrier that might otherwise prevent people from sharing something so deeply personal, and in that way social media can be positive and bring people together in a crisis. It’s done that for many during the pandemic, and offers ways for us to connect through humor and sharing stories, helping us to stay sane.

However, family and friends aren’t the only users: Businesses are booming online, and shares and likes on social media can help small businesses grow. Social networks are also a way to effect positive social change, as illustrated through movements like Black Lives Matter and #MeToo, and as one example, the conversion of Megan Phelps-Roper, a former member of Westboro Baptist Church (the “God Hates F**s” people) who began questioning her bigoted beliefs after a Twitter conversation with a stranger and has now left the church.

Ney, a data expert, warned that users aren’t truly aware of the ways their data is used and collected, often through seemingly innocuous shares. She noted that the Cambridge Analytica data scandal exposed some of this to the public, but that the response focused too heavily on advertising, when it goes so much deeper than that. Eerily, Facebook can accurately predict outcomes of personal relationships using the massive collection of data provided by users. The challenge of moderating use of personal data for good rather than evil is one of the major components of the social media dilemma, and solutions aren’t quite clear, but experts need to be at the table, Ney said, because of the complexity of the issue.

The panelists pointed to former President Donald Trump as an example of the negative side of social media, and pointed out that blocking him – the technological solution to his abuse of Twitter and Facebook – is simple, but the ideological solution is much more complex. Ney said it needs more than a tech solution – “this needs to be a people solution” – while Hollow suggested that tech companies need another layer focused on morality and considering the mental health of their users.

Just as societies form rules and norms for behavior, social media needs to have boundaries and expectations, and mechanisms for when users step outside the boundaries, if it is to be used for good. Responsibility begins with the individual user, and extends to the gatekeepers of the platforms and society as a whole. Hollow said, “If we think about social media as a child … then we need to be the right godparents, the right uncles and aunties, we need to be the right guardians [that will] help social media mature in a positive way ... so it creates the most social value for the most people.” Are you in?

“Unravelling the Social Dilemma” is available at SXSW Online On Demand.

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