Well ...

It’d be so easy to sit here and type angrily about what the Cowboys did wrong Monday in their 36-22 loss to the Giants, but I’ve been doing that all season.

Today, I’d like to talk about a positive aspect of being a Cowboys fan, the underappreciated asset we’ve been staring at on the sidelines all season. I’m talking of course about Bill Parcells' sweet, sweet rack.

If you need a refresher on Tuna’s massive man mammaries click here. For some reason, the Dallas Cowboys won’t let me use one of their photographs.

Since I can’t resist a pair of jiggly jugs, I’ll go easy on the Cowboys this week. There are so many things I could gripe about, but I’ll save them for another time.

Sure Terrell Owens dropped a seemingly sure catch on fourth down and Drew Bledsoe threw yet another one of his patented gamebreaking end-zone oskies, but they both showed improvement and actually looked like they wanted to win for once. We also got a rough but promising glimpse at Dallas’ QB future in Tony Romo. Since he managed to throw three interceptions in a single half of football, it’s tempting to make an immature and socially irresponsible joke about his name, but I’ll leave that to TO.

Plus, considering I spent a good portion of this entry praising Parcell’s saggy man boobage, I'm in no position to judge anybody.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for almost 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

More Dallas Cowboys
Rough 'Boys
Rough 'Boys
Does Dallas Cowboys coach Jerry Jones have a little rough-trade fetish? You think?

Cindy Widner, June 4, 2008

Charlie the Tuna
Charlie the Tuna

Jeremy Martin, Feb. 2, 2007

More by Jeremy Martin
Summer Chores
Summer Chores
Cinema's blockbusters become video games, and fun is lost in translation

July 27, 2007

Wranglers Wrap Season, Consider Move to Minors
Wranglers Wrap Season, Consider Move to Minors

June 22, 2007


Dallas Cowboys, Terrell Owens, Drew Bledsoe, Man boobs, Bill Parcells, Tony Romo

One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Can't keep up with happenings around town? We can help.

Austin's queerest news and events

New recipes and food news delivered Mondays

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle