https://www.austinchronicle.com/daily/qmmunity/2013-03-20/the-aggregaytor-march-20/

The AggreGAYtor: March 20

By Brandon Watson, March 20, 2013, 2:45pm, Qmmunity

Hillary Clinton writes a mash note, Snooki threatens a temper tantrum, and Maggie Gallagher plays hide and seek. Today's AggreGAYtor must report to the principal's office immediately.

• Former Rep. Bob Ney is continuing his ",b>John Boehner sux" tour by alleging the Speaker called one of his staffers a "fag."

• There are a couple theories lingering about Hillary Clinton's recent endorsement of marriage equality. An AP story thinks her announcement means she is ready to run for President in 2016.

• But who are they trying to fool? Obvi, it's because Hillz wants to be the most popular camper at the Michigan Womyn's Festival. Like ever.

• Rep. Steve Stockman, the yellow cyst of Texas, isn't happy that trans women are protected by VAWA.

• I'm all for nostalgia. Hammer pants, scrunchies, Cross Colors … bring them on. But maybe we ought to set the limit at bringing back AIDS quarantine laws.

• The GOP are reportedly "balking" at including LGBT protections in immigration reform. Which for some reason brings to mind an image of Rand Paul running around in a chicken suit - a surefire way to make his next filibuster more entertaining.

• Some Santa Fe officials say that since New Mexico's marriage laws are written in gender neutral terms, they can issue all the same-sex marriage licenses they want.

• Facebook, it's in the news. A Florida appeals court has ruled that posting threats on a Facebook wall can be considered criminal. No word was given if liking said threats is a no-no.

• Elsewhere, a Facebook user claims that Facebook accessed a text message in determining he is gay. Either that or his history of searching for "Zayn Malik shirtless."

• Is there some sort of competition in Arizona as to which lawmaker can introduce the assy-est law? Seriously, being an Arizonan must be like being trapped in a Neil LaBute film.

• Chipotle has decided to pull out of Utah's "Scout-O-Rama" because of the Boy Scout's gay ban.

• On the eve of the Supreme Court marriage equality cases, Maggie Gallagher is nowhere to be seen. Although Rockapella has been dispatched, the only clue is a tattered shoestring left by Gallagher cohort Patty Larceny.

• Joe Rogan, the only man alive who is capable of making the nation pine for Adam Carolla, won't be appearing at any GenderPAC events anytime soon.

• Hearteningly, in a sporting climate that is ignorant at best and outright hostile at worst, the comments on a story about transgender skater Hillary Thompson are all positive. Stoked.

• The line between Avenue Q and Sesame Street continues to blur.

• Imaginary friends Snooki and JWoww are vowing to kick some SCOTass if DOMA is not overturned.

• Rachel Maddow admits that she has some fascination with guns. I'm guessing it has something to do with Barbara Stanwyk.

• Since a new Allure survey says that gays are more attracted to people who are ten years older than them, I'm going to go ahead and admit that I am ten years older than all of you.