The AggreGAYtor: March 19

For Beth Ditto, something is standing in the way of control

Beth Ditto lands in hot water, John Boehner refuses to lend support, and Prince Harry contemplates being a switch hitter. Offense wins games, today's AggreGAYtor wins championships.

• CPAC: It's like SXSW in an ill-fitting suit. Oh, and really annoying panels.

• Thankfully, most conservatives are keeping mum about gay marriage at this year's event. Maybe they just have laryngitis.

• Still, some conservatives are still willing to give soundbites. Sour bobbing apple Scott Walker admits that marriage equality naysayers have lost the war.

• But leaking Betsy Wetsy doll John Boehner insists he would still oppose same-sex marriage even if his hypothetical gay son were to come out. So tough titty Skylar Boehner!

• Maybe Johnny boy just doesn't have the cojones. According to Meghan McCain "being a Republican who supports gay marriage is a bitch."

• Like Jodie Sweetin squealing in Candace Cameron's ear before a can't miss Stacey Q concert, the Westboro Baptist Church are pumped about NOM's anti-gay marriage march.

• They are less excited, however, about their new next door neighbor's new paint job.

• But they can at least take comfort that their message is getting out to the "celebrity" community.

• In Nebraska, Dr. Louis Safranek wants everyone to know it is OK to discriminate against LGBT people because they are all whores of Babylon.

• Take for instance Cardinal Keith O'Brien, who apparently takes a hands-on approach to dealing with sin.

• Prince Harry says he will consider going gay if things do not work out with his current flame Cressida, which would certainly seem less controversial than him dating a car.

• Finally, a reason why they are called the Gossip.

• The American Decency Association contends that Glee is "poisoning our youth," which I couldn't agree with more. Millions of youths are being taught that cheap melodrama and a lack of plot cohesion are an acceptable form of entertainment. Booyah!

• Although Dallas City Council candidate Adam Medrano was arrested in 2000 for "homosexual conduct" in the NorthPark Dillards' bathroom, he still thinks his sexuality is a secret.

• Registration is now open for the Texas Stonewall Democrats Equality Forward Summit.

• Which is a perfect time to review Texas Republicans' LGBT report cards.