The AggreGAYtor: March 11

Queen Elizabeth updates tradition, Christine Quinn updates her status, and Brett Ratner updates his public image. Today's AggreGAYtor is updating its resumé.

• The precocious 11 year-old who recently sent the Supreme Court members letters in support of ending DOMA has been given the consolation prize of an invitation to the White House egg roll. That's not quite as good as legal stability for her family, but we have to get our calories somewhere.

• New York Council Speaker Christine Quinn has entered the mayoral race. Opponent Bill de Blasio called the announcement "more of the same" because Rudy Giuliani, >b>Micheal Bloomberg, David Dinkins, and Ed Koch were all out lesbians.

• A new report estimates that as many as one third of LGBT immigrants are undocumented.

• She's your queen to be. A queen to be forever. A queen who'll do whatever.

• Kids say the darndest things. a Glendale California city council candidate has caused quite a stir with a series of racist and homophobic YouTube comments.

• And a Visalia (which is in Alabama? California? Narnia?) teacher is in a pickle after calling "hom osex uals" jack-booted fascists on USA Today.

• The Illinois GOP have backed down from their fight against their marriage equality supporting chairman Pat Brady. Instead, they keep fooling him with the old "snake in a can" trick. Apparently revenge is a dish best served hammy.

• The Family Research Council's Peter Sprigg wants to snatch your babies.

• In a revelation that would seem too obvious for Falcon Crest, it has been revealed that Mark Regnerus' now-famous gay parenting study had political motivations. Sweeps week has really never been the same since the Moldavian massacre.

• Charisma (cough) editor Jennifer LeClaire, the Van Helsing of the religious right, now has her crossbow aimed at the Violence Against Women Act. There's probably a reason why we don't see any conservative-themed video games.

• With fauxpologies to Linda Harvey, I would hardly call gays and lesbians "sexual anarchists." I really fill like you have to add some frisson to really earn that moniker. Add some tigers, grenades, and balloon animal and we can talk. Maybe bonus points if you enlist at least three of the Osmonds.

• A Brooklyn man who claims the NYPD beat him during gay pride says the cops also visited him multiple times at his apartment. I'm guessing they just needed someone to talk to. City life can be lonely, ya'll.

• Among the misconceptions that out lesbian Charleston County Councilwoman Colleen Condon wants to clear up is that you can't make it through your life solely on alliteration.

• Chalk art is dumb.

• Did you know gay rights are going to kill us all? If only Al Gore had sounded the alarm on that instead of global warming.

• Maybe it's just me, but GLAAD's naming of Brett Ratner as their "straight ally of the year" kind of knocks all authority out of their brand. Hopefully the glaad-handers have though ahead and eliminated shrimp from the gala's menu. It's hard enough to choke down disdain without adding tartare sauce.

• While it is reaching to call the mothra tattooed on Mick Jagger-lit wonder boy Harry Styles a "transgender symbol," maybe we should worry that he has watched too much Silence of the Lambs.

Now that the "Harlem Shake" has been used to score homophobia, can we just effing end it? I mean right after after I post my video? I promise that mine is different.

• Today is Equality Texas' biannual lobby day, but so far no one has even brought me a Kind bar. I mean they're giving them out all over Congress Ave. I don't know why people can't be more considerate.