The AggreGAYtor: March 7

Elton John tries out the suite life, Stephen Fry eats some phish and chips, and Brian Brown gets his GED. Like a drifter, today's AggreGAYtor was born to walk alone.

• I'll take it back. Apparently the slope IS slippery.

• With all the nuance of a Barbie Funhouse, TMZ takes on the controversy regarding transgender mixed martial arts fighter Fallon Fox.

• The Colorado school district that refused bathroom rights for 6 year-old transgender youth Coy Mathis is refusing to enter mediation with her parents.

• Barring a veto, the Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians is set to become the third Native American tribe to allow same sex marriage.

• A new poll suggests that the struggle for marriage equality may be an uphill climb. Because Minnesota has lots of hills or something. Or lakes. Or topography. To tell the truth, I'm not even sure Minnesota is a state.

• Congratulations to khaki streusel Brian Brown on his honorary degree from the nonexistant American Urban University, his role in curing all alopecia, and the extension of his long-running off-broadway dance spectacular "Splonk."

• Catholic priest Don Andrea Gallo is demanding an openly gay papacy "because repression leads to pedophilia." Snapz.

• GOProud are simply flabbergasted that CPAC did not make room for them in this year's line-up, decide instead to take their message to a KKK rally.

• Meanwhile, Accuracy In Media rabble-rouser Cliff Kincaid is hoping that CPAC will have a panel on why HOMOSEXUALS (yikes) "seem prone to violence, terror, and treason." Oh Clifford, it's because those things are fa-bu-lous, dahlink. Have you seen Bruce Willis at the end of Die Hard? Fierce.

• WorldNetDaily editor Joseph Farah says that gay marriage is “one of the most radical ideas considered since child sacrifice.” Thankfully for him, Rand Paul already squashed the Dem's nefarious "Protect the Nation's Cults" bill in a breathless filibuster.

• The Family Research Council's latest fundraising letter is deeply concerned that passing ENDA will allow people (read fags) to "parade their proclivities into the workplace." Admittedly, that does seem awfully fun, but will it allow elaborate floats?

• Hmm. Toughscout sounds like a terrific name for an underwear brand. Maybe a line of jaunty loden jock straps. I can't wait to get my merit badge.

• Like in those hilarious sitcom scenes where someone only hears part of a conversation and believes something terrible is happening and everyone decided to not love Raymond or that maybe eight is not, in fact, enough; One Million Moms have decided that the Violence Against Women act is a grenade in the "war on women."

• In their continued quest to make the US look like yokels in a Grant Wood pastoral, Mexico's high court rules that homophonic slurs are not protected by the country's speech free speech laws.

• According to sources, who may or not be hydrangea-averse ring wraith Madonna, Elton John booked a hotel room for his sunglasses while staying in Brazil. David Furnish, on the other hand, slept in a cardboard tent made out of tattered covers of Too Low for Zero.

• Venerable British actor Stephen Fry discovers that the lip isn't the only thing that can be stiff.

• New polls show that support for marriage equality is growing in Texas. I'd like to think it has something to do with Rick Perry's hair.

• Although I would be willing to bet that Forth Worth area supermom Erica Moore would say no to same-sex marriage if anyone had bothered to ask her.

• A Travis County grand jury has decided to not pursue hate crime enhancements against Pride weekend attacker Lambert Borgardt because no audio exists of the event. I'm sure Lambiekins was just giving one of his famous Girls recaps. He's very protective of Lena Dunham.

• It's here, it's queer, get used to it. Where LGBT crosses SXSW, the Gap Place krewe will be there. Keep checking over the weekend for interviews, photo galleries, and general nunchuckery. You don't have to buy us drinks, but we'll still try to knock your block off.