The Austin Chronicle

The AggreGAYtor: January 15

By Brandon Watson, January 15, 2013, 3:35pm, Qmmunity

Ed Koch is flabbergasted, Miley Cyrus is titillated, and Whoopi Goldberg is celebrated. To fully appreciate the flavor and quality, please enjoy today's AggreGAYtor within 10 days.

In Our Mothers' House, Patricia Polacco's graphically illustrated adaptation of Rubyfruit Jungle completely benign children's storybook will be returning to the children's section of four Salt Lake area libraries.

Marriage equality is being debated in Wyoming. Probably in a rugged, individualistic way.

• A bill to repeal Virginia's constitutional amendment banning gay marriage has been defeated in panel. This news item would be infinitely more interesting if the 'panel' in question was populated by reality show careerists. I can't help thinking that we would get much better results if every serious endeavor should be launched off with Tim Gunn insisting "this is not fashion camp."

• The tiny town of Vicco, Kentucky has approved an LGBT anti-discrimination ordinance, adding that they don't mind if Elbert is a little different.

• A class action lawsuit is accusing Blue Cross of illegally singling out HIV/AIDS patients by requiring drugs by purchased from mail-order suppliers.

• If caller ID "spoofing"� is being used to harass transgender women, perhaps we ought to agree on a slightly more intimidating name. Unless the scamming technique does indeed involve forcing the victims to watch repeated screenings of Scary Movie 3. Shudder.

• A trans woman who deserted the Marines in the Eighties has been given an honorable discharge. This may not sound particularly newsworthy to you and me, but Fox News never misses a chance to aggressively other the transgender community.

• Although Harvey Milk's activism definitely deserved to be etched on every building in San Francisco, it would be funsies to start naming spots after less distinguished celebrities. I can think of nothing more exhilarating than driving a cart around Dawson's 18-hole golf course.

• Two men in DC were attacked over the weekend after being harassed with gay slurs.

Pat Brady, the Chairman of the Illinois' Republican Party, is being pelted with criticism for his support for marriage equality. He is also being pelted with links of Kielbasa, but thus far that seems like an unrelated development.

• While posing for a new Tom of Finland style portrait, former New York mayor Ed Koch recovers from the shock of being accused of being gay.

• Evangelical rising star Mike Erre apologizes for the movement being major dicks to LGBT folks, redoubles his efforts at being a minor dick.

• This is really just a hunch, but I get the feeling that "feminist"� writer Julie Burchill does not particularly care for trans women.

• Mumbai police have denied activists a permit for their annual pride march without explanation.

• I'm all for the HRC honoring longtime ally Whoopi Goldberg, but if she really loves us, she'll show up to the awards dressed as her character from Sister Act.

• Victor Barber, certified gay person and Titanic actor, laughs at your foolish insistence that you have the hottest boyfriend.

Rupert Everett, the withered vines of a once bountiful bean patch, goes on British news magazine HARDtalk (titter) to implore gay actors to remain in the closet.

• Somehow, I doubt that the Sex and the City prequel (no, not Girls… the other one) will bring a new level of nuance to the Eightie's AIDs epidemic.

Honey Boo Boo's Uncle Poodle opens up about contracting HIV.

• The folks at excellent trans male magazine Original Plumbing need help revamping their website. Check out the swag. This is how an indiegogo should be done!

Miley Cyrus has admitted to sexual fantasies about blueberry titmonster Katy Perry, exposing the dire consequences of partying in the USA.

• I wonder if all those folks hot and bothered over the same gender relationships in Star Wars: The Old Republic realize that one has to actively purchase an expansion pack to get all the PG homoeroticism. Darth Vader isn't just suddenly going to start hanging out at the Mos Eisley glory hole looking for someone to jabba his hut.

Advocate writer Jesse Archer is the Hunter S. Thompson of poppers.

• Here's a slide show of celebrities splitting their pants. So, take that, Edward R. Murrow.

Wanda Derby exploits a loophole in hate crime laws by dying before her trial.

• Houston congressman Garnet Coleman plans to introduce at least five new pro-LGBT laws this session. Bless his heart.

HRC Austin is asking for donations of travel-sized toiletries, tube socks, and solid-colored t-shirts to be included in care packages for LGBTQ homeless youth as part of the MLK Day of Service.

• The City of Austin Health and Human Services is organizing two MSM focus groups for January 16, to aid in improving future healthcare. Those interested should contact Adam at 371-7585 to check eligibility. Did I mention they are paying, too?

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