The AggreGAYtor: December 3

Your daily dose of LGBTQIA news

If you don't already know, Hillary Clinton is not going to tell you
If you don't already know, Hillary Clinton is not going to tell you (by

Hillary Clinton plays coy, Sophia Vergara gives into her basic instinct, and the SCOTUS demands more cowbell. Six o'clock already, today’s AggreGAYtor was just in the middle of a dream.

• The Supreme Court again declined to issue orders on any pending marriage equality case today, instead deciding to fulfill their life-long dream to become a good time rock-and-roll band. Justice Sonia Sotomayor reportedly plays a killer triangle.

Mallory Owens, the Alabaman lesbian who was brutally beaten over Thanksgiving weekend by her girlfriend’s brother, is stepping back from recent claims that the attack was not motivated by sexuality.

• Miami student Nacrisha Cash alleges she was the victim of hate crime in gas station assault.

• Although the thought of cops singing show tunes from the Wizard of Oz seems deliciously campy, it is probably a little less so if you are wrongly arrested by said cops.

• Citibank is going in the AggreGAYtor’s corporate burn book because it’s a grotsky, little byotch.

• Trans high schooler James Spencer wins his restroom rights fight against Ontario school district.

• Ain’t no marriage like a West Point same sex marriage, cuz a same sex marriage don’t stop.

• Unfortunately, once married, the happy couple will still be viewed as living single by the military. Because with DOMA still in place, we are still living in a 90s kind of world.

• The Michigan Senate advances a bill that would allow health providers to refuse care based on ill-defined “moral objections.” When asked how such a denial would square with Christian teachings, the proponents cite a little-known Psalm that depicts Jesus kicking a leper.

Ryan Andresen, the Boy Scout denied Eagle status recently featured on “Ellen,” receives recognition from the California Assembly – which is infinitely cooler than some old badge.

• Pennsylvania state rep Mike Fleck is the Trojan horse of gaypublicans.

Dr. Drew Pinksy, a genetically modified orange molding in your refrigerator crisper, is the latest misery profiteer to take up conversion therapy.

• Sexy, sexy Cosmopolitan Magazine, purveyor of all the sexually, sexy sex ways sexy, sexy women can sexually please their sexy, sexy men, takes on the issue of asexuality with a surprisingly measured tone.

• A first of its kind LGBT-positive mosque opens at the end of the month in Paris.

Hillary Clinton’s team diplomatically fails to clarify her position on marriage equality.

• Show and tell time – pundicks edition! Here’s Fox’s gastrointestinal anchor Steve Doocey talking to a balding helium balloon about issues of interest to LGBTQIA communities.

• And here’s Dan Savage making an absolutely hilarious joke about an “ex” gays “lesbian” haircut.

• Lastly, here’s Wonkette editor Rebecca Schoenkopf questioning Stacie Laughton’s gender identity because she doesn’t doll herself up enough.

Janee Harteau becomes Minneapolis’ first openly lesbian police chief.

• In Hollywood news, Sharon Stoneand Modern Family’s Sophia Vergara embark on cinematic Sapphism for John Turturro.

Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn is sorry that he is the Beavis of the blogosphere.

• UCLA think tank Williams Institute estimates that Texas misses out on $60 million in revenue in not allowing marriage equality.

• A gay Dallasite dies of a Xanax overdose after 911 communication problem.

• Central Texas parents are fighting back against bigots controlling the education agenda. Paige Schilt is taking AISD to task for recent banning of “And Then Came Tango.”

• Another rad Centex parents are petitioning to make sure benefits for LGBT families are not taken away at Pflugerville ISD.

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