The AggreGAYtor: October 12

Sally Ride is a medical breakthrough, Madonna goes on trial, and Kirk Cameron has a persecution complex. Stop, collaborate, and listen. Today’s AggreGAYtor is back with a brand-new invention.

• Asheville gay couple brutally attacked but there are no anti-gay hate crimes in South Carolina.

• Kirk Cameron is the Sarah Palin of child actors.

• Little-known pop singer Madge Ciccone has been furiously watching A Few Good Men in preparation for her Russian “gay propaganda” trail.

• In a bold step towards the cure, the Family Research Institute reveals that lesbianism causes pancreatic cancer.

• Meanwhile Saudi religious reveal that female driving causes lesbianism. Nobel competition just got serious.

• Rupert Everett, the Brett Easton Ellis of Engerland, takes the Olympics to task for lack of gay people despite record out athletes.

• The Anoka Minnesota Halloween committee hides behind excuses in denying LGBTQ youth group a spot in parade.

• Here’s an example of a story where identity is important: Congratulations to Susan Stanton BTW.

• And here’s an example of a story where identity has to do fuck all with the lede.

• Uncle Poodle: everyman.

• Pastor Jack Cockamamiehakimian worries about the “gay mafia.”

• Like those smug green pigs in Angry Birds, old women and gay dudes are obsessed with stealing eggs.

• Millions of conservabots self-destruct while contemplating which side to take in PETA vs. Atlanta Pride scuffle.

• Angela McCaskill, Gallaudet University’s former Chief Diversity Officer, believes that achieving departmental goals starts with taking away people’s rights.

• Chris Kluwe continues to be crush worthy.

• New web network Guava World enters LGBT programming market<. Who are they calling a fruit?

• Physician – cure thyself.

• Bartender is bashed outside Fort Worth’s Rainbow Lounge.

• Dallas hospital enacts super secret transgender policy after patient complaint.

LGBTQIA HISTORY CLUB: We all know that Big Bird is a unrepentant liberal, but few know he also had two daddies. Learn it and learn it well.