The AggreGAYtor: October 3

Matt Barnes goes totally mnemonic, Portia de Rossi has a fit, and George Takei decides to be normal. What does God need with today’s AggreGAYtor?

• Dan Savage says Family Research Council leader Tony Perkins ”sits on a pile of dead gay kids every day.”

• Sneaky fleet footed fox Paul Ryan attended mass at pro-gay Catholic church over the weekend.

• Marriage equality is ahead in the polls in Rhode Island.

• Gridiron ally Brendon Ayanbadejo claims teammate Ron Perlman Matt Birk’s recent editorial in favor of “traditional” marriage will not be discussed in the locker room.

• Texas Rangers pitcher Derek Holland claims someone hacked his twitter account to call a heckler a “fag.”

• Unfortunately Los Angeles Clippers Matt Barnes forward can’t claim cyber shenanigans in his videotaped f-bomb. Unless of course we are living in a remarkable simulacrum of the world created by ancient programmers.

• According to Brian Camenker of goon squad MassResistance, gays have taken over the FBI. That would help to explain recently discovered footage.

• New York City councilman Fernando Cabrera pairs up with Vision America’s Rick Scarborough to fight against same-sex marriage. They are sort of like the Wonder Twins except they can only take the shape of giant dicks.

• Well surprise, surprise. The US religious right are behind the latest stint of anti-gay harassment in Zimbabwe.

• Things get sexy, sexy, sexy on ABC drama Revenge.

• Over at NBC, The New Normal continues to jump the shark by adding Nicole Ritchie and George Takei to the cast.

• Turning the channel, those mysterious Hollywood creatures –“unconfirmed sources” –claim that Amber Heard has designs on the empress of daytime. And it’s driving Portia de Rossi insane!

• NYC will be pleasantly purple for Spirit Day. The AggreGAYtor wonders what homophobes will wear. Sepia?

• Speaking of brown, LGBTQIA activists are pressuring UPS to stop giving money to the Boy Scouts. In a written statement, UPS said “nananananana I caaan’t hear you.”

• Focus on the Family, or F-OFf as I like to call them, are spending buckets of money on supporting homophobic candidates.

• Brazil remains extremely dangerous for transgender individuals.

• The HRC release findings of huge LGBT youth survey.

• Animated meme Chris Crocker completes the infamy cycle by starring in new porno.

• Lance Bass tells Rikki Lake that he was “asexual” while in N’Sync. Note to other secretive boy banders: being in the closet is not the same thing as being asexual. Asexuality is an orientation, not a cover-up.

• John Travolta and Olivia-Newton John’s new Christmas collaboration finally answers what happened to Danny Zuko after he joined the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus. So glad that him and Sandy still go together like ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong.

• A Westboro Baptist Church member is vying for the Kansas board of education.

• Although fewer books were banned in Texas schools than in year’s past, it is still troubling that LGBTQIA themes remain highly challenged.

• Dallas gay mega-church the Cathedral of Hope is having financial problems.

• aGLIFF’s reboot as Polari Fest begins today with critically acclaimed film Cloudbust.

• Team ProHomo has a mother of a social ride going on next Wednesday, featuring performances by Barefoot on Bumblebees and Workout with Erica Nix and hosted by Stanley Roy.

LGBTQIA HERSTORY CLUB: Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon spoke loudly when others still dared not speak the name of their love. The helped found the daughters of Bilitis, the first national lesbian advocacy organization in 1955, became the first lesbian members of the National Organization for Women, co-edited the influential newsletter The Ladder, and were pivotal in convincing Dianne Feinstein. Martin and Lyon remained active in the community until Martin’s death, lending their name to a lesbian health center and lobbying the legislature on behalf of LGBT seniors. Learn it and learn it well.

BONUS CLIP: Polari isn’t the only movie festival making waves. Todd Akin-fest launches today with the first of their selected shorts. Enjoy!