The Wooden Woodie Awards

MTV puts on an awards show the way they put on a music channel.

Last night, Donald Glover hosted the MTV Woodie Awards. Sleigh Bells, Matt & Kim, Two Door Cinema Club, and Wiz Khalifa were in attendance. And I had tickets.

And yet…

I found myself eating pizza and checking out other parties.

Why miss that great line-up? Well, standing in line for two hours is a pain in the butt, and this is SXSW we're talking about. MTV may have been the pinnacle of teen cool in … oh … let's say 1989, but it isn't like there's not another party in town. Or 50.

Sleigh Bells will be back in Austin soon enough. Matt & Kim have been performing in this city like it's a second home and Two Door Cinema Club opened for Phoenix last year. Wiz Khalifa is all over the SXSW map. More importantly, they'll be performing more than one song when they are back in town.

Donald Glover is a treat, and Troy is my not-so-secret-straight-boyfriend-even-though-we've-never-met. So, I was sad to miss him, but the brotards in line behind and in front of us only crystallized what type of party we were going to. I – no joke – heard a white guy in khakis say he was going to "bust a cap in someone's ass" if the line didn't start to move faster.

And for the record, what's with feather earrings? I'm not a fashionista by any stretch of the term (T-shirt & jeans for this 'mo) and am usually loathe to judge based on clothing choice. But WTF? You look like my Aunt who spent too much time taking pottery classes in Santa Fe.

Back on the street for me. I suggest the Pitchfork party at Eastside Drive-In and the Prefix at the ND @ 501 Studios.