Redefining Marriage

I’ve always found the gay marriage movement’s rhetoric – their claim that they’re not trying to "change the definition of marriage," they only want equal access to an institution that heterosexuals enjoy – to be disingenuous.

Don’t we all know there's usually more fluidity regarding monogamy in same-sex couple relationships than in heterosexual marriages? Or, at the very least, if gay couples are not less monogamous, don't they tend to be more honest about it? I know this is a huge, flabby generalization, and I'm asking for trouble. I know that every couple is different, etc., etc., but can you really argue that there isn’t some grain of truth in it? This morning, The New York Times reports on a study conducted by San Francisco State University that seems to suggest there is.

As the trial phase of the constitutional battle to overturn the Proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage concludes in federal court, gay nuptials are portrayed by opponents as an effort to rewrite the traditional rules of matrimony. Quietly, outside of the news media and courtroom spotlight, many gay couples are doing just that, according to groundbreaking new research.

A study to be released next month is offering a rare glimpse inside gay relationships and reveals that monogamy is not a central feature for many. Some gay men and lesbians argue that, as a result, they have stronger, longer-lasting and more honest relationships. And while that may sound counter-intuitive, some experts say boundary-challenging gay relationships represent an evolution in marriage – one that might point the way for the survival of the institution.

The study also found open gay couples just as happy in their relationships as pairs in sexually exclusive unions, Dr. [Colleen] Hoff said. A different study, published in 1985, concluded that open gay relationships actually lasted longer.

This might be news to Gay Placers, but those who know me know that I’m not exactly keen on marriage. My opposition mostly comes from a distaste for the institution itself. But I could totally get behind this redefining marriage thing. Once again, homos to the rescue, liberating unimaginative straight people from their boring 50s suburban fantasy. How about this for a slogan? “Of course we’re redefining marriage! We’re making it better!”