Daily Affirmation: Hooking Up With Tila Tequila

Tila Tequila has a new book, and it is great/awful.

Oh Tila!
Oh Tila! (by Marla Rutherford)

So Cindy Widner is a genius, or at least she recognizes my love for pure and unadulterated cultural detritus. How did she know I loved the hit MTV bisexual reality dating show, A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila? How did she know that I cried myself to sleep with joy and repulsion after every episode? How did she know I'd want my very own copy of Tila Tequila's new book (ghost-written by journalist Sarah Tomlinson), Hooking Up With Tila Tequila? Some things are just mysteries, I suppose. Cindy left a copy of the book, and I use that word loosely, for me at the Chronicle office. The following is a dramatization of the moment of retrieval…

The Setting: The Chronicle building
The Time: Just after lunch

Cute front-desk boy (CFDB): Hello, can I help you?
Me: Um… Yeah… I think someone left me a book to pick up.
CFDB: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah, it should be a pretty trashy book
CFDB: Ooooooooh. Yes! Here it is! (Smiles and hands me Tila Tequila's book)
Me: Oh, ok, thanks. See you.
CFDB: Yeah. You have fun.
Fin.

Chekov wishes he could've written that gem. Yeah, suck it, Anton Chekov.

Anyway, so I love the book. And by love I mean I read it with condoms on my hands, so as to avoid any STDs. But really, it is an entertaining read, and I recommend it for any white elephant gift exchange you may be attending in the near future. I promise it will be the most coveted item of the party, and thus making you the most popular person. All I care about is your popularity.

In the weeks to come I will share snippets of this literary accomplishment in the form of daily affirmations. Each affirmation will be cited with page number, so you can follow along in your copy. Were I Oprah, this would be the moment I announce that you all get a free copy of the book for free.

But I'm not Oprah. Am I?

Daily Affirmation #1:
We need haters. If you don't have one, go hire one. Seriously, dude. Without haters, you'll never amount to anything. (Ch. 2: Haters, p. 19)

Amen, sister Nguyen!

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for almost 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

READ MORE
More Media
SXSW Panel: Good Night & Good Luck: Media in Election Years
Good Night & Good Luck: Media in Election Years
Freedom of press in the age of alt-facts

Mary Tuma, March 13, 2017

Dusting the Velvet
Dusting the Velvet
New online magazine debuts and celebrates with a launch party

Andrea Kinnison, March 27, 2013

More Television
Six New Shows to Distract Yourself With This Year
Six New Shows to Distract Yourself With This Year
Your 2018 TV preview

Josh Kupecki, Jan. 27, 2018

The Best TV Shows of 2017 (So Far)
The Best TV Shows of 2017 (So Far)
The return of Twin Peaks is cause for celebration

Mark Fagan, June 23, 2017

More by Andy Campbell
Gay Place Top 10s: IIIII-dentity!
Gay Place Top 10s: IIIII-dentity!
It was the year that was.

Jan. 1, 2016

Houston Prop 1 FAIL
Houston Prop 1 FAIL
In the wake of HERO's overturn, Houston's vulnerable left vulnerable

Nov. 4, 2015

KEYWORDS FOR THIS POST

Media, Television, Books, Tila Tequila, MTV, book, bisexual, reality TV, Oprah, Daily Affirmation, Anton Chekov, Cindy Widner, Tila Nguyen

MORE IN THE ARCHIVES
NEWSLETTERS
One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Can't keep up with happenings around town? We can help.

Austin's queerest news and events

New recipes and food news delivered Mondays

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle