https://www.austinchronicle.com/daily/qmmunity/2008-11-18/703641/

You Wanna Get Married? FINE. Stay Married.

By Kate X Messer, November 18, 2008, 11:36am, Qmmunity

Sheesh. I haven't thought this much about marriage since my divorce (which took 7 years).

Check out this new online petition to Protect Marriage, Protect Children, Prohibit Divorce, a brilliant tweak of the obnoxious language of California's Proposition 8.

Sign the petition to Ban Divorce!

Then scroll through the comments. Our fave comes from petition signer #3,854 quoting everybody's favorite garden of cherry picking, the Bible:

"I tell you that whoever puts away his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries her when she is put away commits adultery." (Matthew 5:31) If we're going to dictate policy based on a religious document written 2,000 years ago (and based in part by oral tradition, with no primary source available to prove anything), we should go all the way. In addition to revoking divorce, I also call for a revival of slavery, the subjugation of women's rights, and the illegalization of fish consumption on Fridays. In America, we go all the way, baby.

What are you waiting for? Sign the petition to Ban Divorce!