https://www.austinchronicle.com/daily/qmmunity/2008-08-27/665976/

Democrats Have the Donkey... We Have the Unicorn

By Andy Campbell, August 27, 2008, 7:30am, Qmmunity

I've been thinking a lot about unicorns lately. A lot. Mostly because the live coverage of the DNC has been so very… lacking.

Sample of live coverage:

Anchor One: What's happening now, Anchor Two?
Anchor Two: It looks like everyone is turning around for a moment of silence.
Anchor One: Is there any particular significance for this moment of silence?
Anchor Two: I don't know, but it sure is special.

Illuminating.

Naturally my thoughts turn elsewhere…

and where else but to unicorns? Let's be honest, unicorns have been en vogue recently because – no thanks to a certain YouTube unicorn whose name rhymes with Schmarlie and another one we'll just call Schmlanet Unicorn – they are soooooo ironic.

Aren't they?

I mean, the Gay Place logo is a unicorn for a reason, right?

Let's imagine a queer political party – one that rightfully takes the unicorn for its party mascot. The unicorn makes a perfect political mascot because of what it symbolizes:

Health care for all: The unicorn horn is a curative.

Safe sex and sex education for all: Unicorns can only be approached by virgins – either sex – virgins who know what their sexual resources are!

Eco-friendly policies: Unicorns live in the forest.

Magic. (Duh!)

Unicorns are for real.

OK, this blog is proof: Staying up to watch the DNC makes you a little gayer.