https://www.austinchronicle.com/daily/qmmunity/2007-05-02/crush-o-the-week/

Crush o' the Week

By Kate Getty, May 2, 2007, 9:37pm, Qmmunity

Doogie Howser. The Neil Patrick Harris, only because, on a whim, rerenting Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle is a good idea, if only to catch the ever-ironic "I Love Pussy" monologue given by the then-not-so-out film star. It's brilliant tongue-in-cheek.

Transcription, for the record books:

Kumar: Gotta ask ya Neil, you ever get it on with Wanda off the set?
Neil Patrick Harris: Dude, I humped every piece of ass ever on that show.
Kumar: Even the chick who played the hot nurse?
NPH: No. I didn't go all the way with her.
[Later]
NPH: Forget White Castle, let's go get some pussy. It's a fuckin' sausage fest in here, bros. Let's get us some poon-tang. Then, we'll go to White Castle.
Kumar: Neil, you don't understand, we've been craving these burgers all night.
NPH: Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too. Fur burgers. Come on, dudes. Let's pick up some trim at a strip club. The Doogie line always works with strippers. Lap-Da-aance.