Here I am, weeping in front of my laptop, because of this via the always excellent Pam's House Blend. Be sure to read the comments, too.

The time has come at last; your Austin Aztex USL-1 squad plays its first-ever game this Saturday, hosting the New England Revolution, MLS Cup finalists three of the past four years, and the first MLS team to visit Austin since ... well, let's make that the trivia question of the week. Find me at La Palapa (see below), and I'll buy you a drink. Aztex spokesman Kyle Dalton says the teams scrimmaged Wednesday morning, and "people are going to be impressed" with the quality the Aztex put on the field. The roster is still coming together, but this week at least, you can catch some of the fan favorites and local products who were with the Aztex U-23 squad last year, including Beto Papandrea, Josh Alcala, Willy "Speed" Guadarrama, and Zach Pope, all vying to join the pro roster for this year. 7:30pm Saturday, Feb. 28, at Nelson Field (next to Reagan High, off US 290 and Cameron Rd.) $20 and $30; see www.austinaztex.com to order. Some supporters are meeting pre-game at La Palapa, across the parking lot from the stadium, starting at 5pm. Next up: Houston Dynamo March 7, Columbus Crew March 14.

Carole Keeton Strayhorn held a press conference outside the central library to talk about the budget. What ensued was definitely off the books – listen to her sound off on city spending, mayoral forums, and more.

The Houston Dynamo gave up an 82nd minute goal, and had to settle for a 1-1 draw with Mexico's Atlante in the first leg of their CONCACAF Champions League quarterfinal Tuesday night. The return leg is Tuesday, March 3 in Cancun (9pm on FSC), four days before the Dynamo play in Austin. (Fox Soccer Channel is showing all eight CONCACAF quarterfinal games, Tuesday-Thursday, Feb. 24-26, and March 3-5.) Also on FSC: Austin Aztex affiliate Stoke City at Aston Villa, 9am Sunday, March 1. Great week for the England in the opening round of European Champions League knockout stages, as Arsenal, Chelsea, and Liverpool each won, and Manchester United got a scoreless draw at Italian champ Inter Milan. Full results below; return legs in two weeks.

Fans of pornography (I know you're out there) have a reason to get out of the house and off the computer this Friday as adult video superstars Stoya and Jesse Jane come to town to promote megabudgeted triple-Xer Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge. Pirates demographic leans more toward the adventurous couple looking to spice things in the bedroom than the solo spanker searching for the ultra-hardcore stuff. With its big budget, A-list talent, special effects, and actual narrative, couples might find themselves fast-forwarding through the sex scenes to get to the next chapter in the story (or maybe not). Speaking of the sex scenes, they are sensual as opposed to exploitative and tightly edited unlike the more amateurish (and cheap) production values typically found in porn these days. And thankfully there aren't many close-ups of bobbing pimply man asses which seems to be prevalent in adult films for some unknown reason. Keep an eye out for the 4-DVD collector's edition set which features a surprisingly large amount of bonus materials including extended scenes, a blooper reel, an audio commentary, special featurettes, and much more. Stoya and Jesse Jane will be signing copies of Pirates at the Adult Video Megaplexx (7111 S. I-35, 442-5430) Friday, Feb. 27, from 8-11pm. For more on Stoya and Jesse Jane, click on the image gallery at right and …

Austin-based Latinitas, the first digital magazine for young Latinas, hits the streets in an unusual move in this digital age. Instead of going from print to digital, like most publications, they are expanding their online publication to a hands-on paper copy. The print version of Latinitas will be carried as an insert inside El Mundo Newspaper, the Hispanic Newspaper for Austin and Central Texas.

So last night was supposed to be the big national launch for Louisiana's Gov. Bobby "future of the Republican Party" Jindal. Reviews for his response to Pres. Barack Obama's address to Congress were poor, even from Republicans. Except for the moment when Jindal claimed that "Louisiana has turned its back on the corruption of the past," (rarely has any public announcement sparked a statewide spit-take ) it was pretty short on excitement or economic policy proposals, but big on down-home anecdotes. Less "state of the union," more "audition for Hee Haw." Which is good for Jindal, because he's only faced one major test as governor, and it didn't necessarily go so well. Last year, the Louisiana state legislature was talking about doubling lawmaker pay ($16,800 to $37,500: not bad for a part-time gig, but there's that whole question of whether legislators should be a part-time gig.) Jindal pretty much botched the entire issue. First he pledged to oppose any pay raises, then he said that it was the legislature's business and he wouldn't veto it, then (after a recall election petition was filed) flopped back from his flip and vetoed the bill.

2008 was a whirlwind for California’s Delta Spirit. The punky folk quintet from San Diego toured with Dr. Dog and Cold War Kids, had their self-released album Ode to Sunshine remastered and reissued by Rounder Records, and were invited to play festivals like Sasquatch, Noise Pop, and Austin City Limits. Now they’re on their first headlining tour, which stops at Emo’s Saturday. Delta Spirit’s bass player Jon Jameson seemed extra happy when I spoke to him last week. Maybe it was because their shows on the East Coast had sold out; maybe it was because he had just had a good night’s sleep. “We’ve been touring the last two years,” Jameson explained. “Probably eight months out of the year and then towards the end of last year, we thought 2009 was going to be easy. You know, do a little touring, then write and make a record. But it’s been non-stop touring. We did the Nada Surf tour, then went to Europe for a couple of weeks, then we were home for one and a half days and took off for this tour which is 29 shows in 30 days. Then we’re home for a week, go to South by Southwest, then home for a couple of days, then to Europe for a two and half weeks. It’s insane. My back and my knees are starting to go out. This is our first real headlining tour and the fact that all the shows have lots of people at them and some of them are sold out is pretty sweet for us.”

There's been rumors about how annoyed House Democrats were about getting fobbed off with second tier committee assignments. But it seems that Rep. Harold Dutton, D-Houston, isn't going to give Speaker Joe Straus a break until he gets off either Corrections or Public Education.