Alex Jones' Caffeinated Conspiracies

The nutcase makes an acquaintance with "Seattle's finest"

Jones, exiting a child custody hearing in April.
Jones, exiting a child custody hearing in April. (Photo by Jana Birchum)

Did Alex Jones stage his own false flag attack with a cup of coffee on Friday? The walking, talking conspiracy theory machine was in Seattle over the weekend to do a little bit of hootin’ and hollerin’ on his Periscope feed about alt-leftists and NASA love camps on Mars (or whatever his latest obsession might be) when he waylaid a passing stranger who threw a cup of coffee at his person. Well, less “threw at” and more “poured near.” The man, set up as Jones’ opponent, was quickly identified as Seattle resident Jake Stratton, and his peculiar résumé raised questions about whether the stunt was real. While national journalists have picked up on his career as a pro wrestling manager, Stratton has also worked as an actor, earned the distinction of champion in the World Extreme Pencil Fighting League, fronted video game-obsessed death metal band Blöödhag, and was recently an announcer for Seattle flat-track Roller Derby league the Rat City Rollergirls.

That’s enough to fuel broad speculation that the whole thing was a hoax to make Jones look like he could not even walk through the street, raging into a camera, without being assaulted by vicious leftists. Or possibly to prove he is immune to boiling liquids, like a super-powered lobster? Stratton took to his Twitter account – which he only started the day after the “incident” – to claim “it was not staged! I was on my way to work and saw that coward spewing hate. And the coffee was not boiling hot he’s just a wuss #punchanazi.” The final word may go to the Seattle Police Department, which tweeted that there had been no official reports about Jones yelling at strangers or being assaulted, and that “as far as we know that could be an actor playing Alex Jones.”

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Alex Jones, Jake Stratton

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