Greg Abbott and the Nuge

What is it with Ted Nugent that obsesses Texans so? Whatever it is about the walking, talking pastiche of a Seventies rocker, Attorney General Greg Abbott has decided to buddy up to the bow-wielding stadium star turned novelty act.

Seemingly, the Detroit native is the only Yankee migrant that Republicans and the Texas media establishment are happy to fawn over (case in point: exactly why has he been on the cover of Texas Monthly when the same can't be said of ZZ Top?) Yet somehow the hybrid spawn of Kinky Friedman and Manowar gets treated like a serious political figure.

So the latest instance is that the Nuge is taking a brief break from the busy job of serving as Sid Miller's campaign treasurer (yes, former State Rep. Sid "mandatory sonograms" Miller) to take to the stump for Abbott in his hunt to secure the Republican nomination for governor of Texas. Today, the Motor City Mad Man will be opening up for the attorney general at events in Denton and Wichita Falls. Which makes us ask, what did poor Denton and Wichita Falls do wrong?

Yes, the same Ted Nugent that recently said of the president:

"I have obviously failed to galvanize and prod, if not shame enough Americans to be ever vigilant not to let a Chicago communist-raised, communist-educated, communist-nurtured subhuman mongrel like the ACORN community organizer gangster Barack Hussein Obama to weasel his way into the top office of authority in the United States of America.”

Let's be perfectly clear. Ted Nugent is from Detroit. A city with an 81.55% African-American population. So when he says "subhuman mongrel" about a black man, it's pretty tough to swallow that he doesn't mean exactly what it sounds like he means.

Of course, Abbott's campaign is undertaking a breathtaking exercise in having its cake and smearing it all over the walls too. In a statement, Abbott's spokesman Matt Hirsch said of Nugent, "While he may sometimes say things or use language that Greg Abbott would not endorse or agree with, we appreciate the support of everyone who supports protecting our Constitution." (Shorter version: Ted loves guns, we want the NRA vote, so we want Ted.)

It's far from the first time Abbott has ended up with abusive proxies just distant enough for him to play some complex "plausible deniability" card. Earlier this year he thanked Denton-based attorney Jeff Rutledge for calling Sen. Wendy Davis, D-Fort Worth, "Retard Barbie." It's a little tougher to feign ignorance when one of his own campaign crew, Dave Carney (aka the guy who scuppered Gov. Rick Perry's presidential strategy) called Davis "Too stupid to be governor."

Democratic activist group the Lone Star Project has already called out Abbott for this latest unholy alliance. Director Matt Angle said, "Greg Abbott is joining forces with an admitted sexual predator to help boost his campaign. Unless Abbott cancels the appearances and publicly condemns Ted Nugent, he will have forfeited any claim to basic moral decency and exposed a fundamental lack of character that disqualifies him for public office in Texas."

Oh, yeah, that whole "admitted sexual predator" thing. Presumably Abbott's staffers kept it from their boss that Nugent basically adopted his 17-year-old girlfriend. Then again, the whole Pele Massa situation didn't exactly put Mitt Romney off from hanging around with the Nuge, or Rick Perry getting him to play the 2007 inaugural ball (where, in a full-on, stay-classy moment, he wore a Confederate T-shirt), so it's doubtful Abbott will lose much sleep.

Just no one mention that Courtney Love allegation. Because that could get awkward.