The Austin Chronicle

News Ticker: June 5

By Brandon Watson, June 5, 2013, 4:15pm, Newsdesk

John Cornyn provides solutions for modern living, Amy Simmons opens a can of whoop-ass, and Steve Munisteri reaches out to touch somebody's hand. Tenderness is on the News Ticker.

• Due to his recent actions, Austin ISD says that A.G. Greg Abbott will not be getting the keys to the chocolate factory after all.

• Dude! If you disable the sound and cue both to start at the same time, the introductory video for The Thinkery (nee Austin Children's Museum) perfectly syncs up to Miley Cyrus' "Party in the U.S.A."

• Mayor Lee Leffingwell will be helping 108 year-old Austinite Martha Coleman celebrate her birthday. We just hope he doesn't jump out of the cake. The last time was a disaster.

• The Austin Police Department will be offering free VIN etching tomorrow at ACC's Northridge Campus. We were sorely disappointed to learn that the etchings will be vehicle identification numbers and not intaglio tributes to our nation's most cherished Diesel.

• A student has been charged in last week's acid bomb incident at Burnet Middle School. No name was released because the suspect is a minor, but the Chronicle did manage to obtain a police sketch.

• Just what is it that makes today's Austin so different, so appealing?

• Things at this mornings X Games rally took an unexpected turn when the profusion of Axe body spray was deemed a threat to Austin's status as a "clean air city."

• Dairy queen Amy Simmons is going Highlander on organic burrito purveyor Amy's Kitchen. It's rumored that the Quickening will be really messy.

Stubb's Texas Bar-B-Q has opened an outpost in Shanghai. Gee, they are really going to extremes to protect their sauce recipe.

• A federal appeals court has said it is perfectly fine for Texas schools to out LGBT students to their parents. In unrelated news, Gov. Rick Perry reportedly wouldn't go back to high school if you paid him a million bucks.

• Having obviously confused servicewomen with Wet Seal customers, the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles announced they are now offering pink camo license plates.

• Texas GOP Chairman Steve Munisteri has announced that state Republicans will be hiring several workers to reach out to minority voters.

• Most of that outreach will involve inviting tiny pockets of minority voters into Republican dominated districts. It's all about making folks feel special.

Ideas! Sen. John Cornyn has them.

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