News Ticker: April 4

All the news that's fit to blog

Rep. Gohmert
Rep. Gohmert

Louie Gohmert connects the dots, Ted Nugent hunts for relevance, and Lance Armstrong takes a dip. Character is on the News Ticker.

• Looks like the Trail of Lights this year might be a little underwhelming.

• The House is expecting a very long day as they debate more than two hundred amendments to the budget. After his third energy drink expect Bill Zedler to get into an awkward conversation about why Jesus loves his bill best.

• It appears Louie Gohmert believes in the sanctity of shotgun marriages.

• Since he spends most of his time attending various legislative sessions, maybe its time we all admit that Ted Nugent is no longer a "rocker." At best, he's Glenn Beck after a few guitar lessons.

Lance Armstrong is vehemently denying that he is using performance-enhancing gills in his new career as a swimmer. Feel free to insert your own "wha-wha-wha" here.

• Three bills dealing with the El Paso Schools testing scandal "sailed to passage" in the Texas Senate. If you ask me, they might have had a little help.

*The original version of this post implied that both Bill Zedler and Louie Gohmert are state representatives. Louie Gohmert is a US representative.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for almost 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

More News
The AggreGAYtor: June 1
The AggreGAYtor
What happened today in gay? Here’s your QILTBAG recap of queer news.

David Estlund, June 1, 2015

The AggreGAYtor: May 29
The AggreGAYtor
What happened today in gay? Here’s your QILTBAG recap of queer news.

David Estlund, May 29, 2015

More by Brandon Watson
My Obsession: Therapy With Nineties Supermodels
My Obsession: Therapy With Nineties Supermodels
Escape via the long gay tradition of diva worship

Sept. 15, 2017

Review: Holy Roller
Review: Holy Roller
The personal is edible at Callie Speer’s new hot spot

Sept. 8, 2017


News, Louie Gohmert, Texas House Budget, Bill Zedler, Ted Nugent

One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Can't keep up with happenings around town? We can help.

Austin's queerest news and events

New recipes and food news delivered Mondays

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle