The Austin Chronicle

News Ticker: April 3

By Brandon Watson, April 3, 2013, 12:30pm, Newsdesk

Mike Rice commits a flagrant foul, Jay Leno says goodnight, and Rick Perry get some bragging rights. Hubris is on the News Ticker.

Kim Jong-Un may not have enough oomph to hit Austin with a missile, but he may have succeeded in his backup plan. In the past twenty-four hours, Austin has seen power outages, a train derailment, a water main break, the flooding of Barton Springs Pool (gasp,) and a plague of coral snakes. Who knew he was such a pro at witchcraft?

• So maybe now isn't such great time to lift the Travis County burn ban.

• Gov. Rick Perry was quick to tout that the Brookings Institution ranked six Texas cities among the top in the nation for job creation. Of course, those six cities are also the only six cities that voted against Perry's third term, but we're sure that's just a coincidence.

Chris Bradford, local blogging attorney, suggests that it might be a good idea for I-35 and SH 130 to Trade Places. I-35 will learn to be more professional and SH 130, with the help of streetwise sex worker Jamie Lee Curtis, will learn how to love again.

• If the Senate Criminal Justice Committee has its way, classes required for a concealed handgun permit may soon shorten to as little as four hours. Who needs to know what a safety is for anyway?

• This is how Jay Leno's career ends, Not with a bang but a wanker.

• Although it's hard to argue that Mike Rice should not have been fired for his extreme hissy fits, maybe Rutgers University needs to look at an interview process that brought them both an insubordinate heckler and a man who thought free throws could be just a little bit freer.

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