Dear Obama, If Texas Secedes, Can We Stay With You?

New petition asks White House to make Austin 50th state

Our post-secession flag? If Texas doesn't want to be a state, we'll take their star on the flag.
Our post-secession flag? If Texas doesn't want to be a state, we'll take their star on the flag.

So the interwebs have been abuzz with the crazy Texas secession petition, whereby forces who never accepted the end result of the Civil War have asked President Obama to let Texas exit the Union. Now there's a counter-petition: If Texas is allowed to secede, Austinites are asking that they be allowed to stay part of the USA.

In the petition, currently open for signatures at, the authors ask the administration to allow "the city of Austin, Texas to withdraw from the state of Texas and remain part of the United States."

From the petition:

Austin Texas continues to suffer difficulties stemming from the lack of civil, religious, and political freedoms imposed upon the city by less liberally minded Texans. It is entirely feasible for Austin to operate as its own state, within the United States, in the event that Texas is successful in the current bid to secede. It is important for Austin to remain in the union as to do so would protect its citizens' standard of living and re-secure their rights and liberties in accordance with the original ideas and beliefs of our founding fathers.

We would also like to annex Dublin Texas, Lockhart Texas, & Shiner Texas.

This comes as other petitioners, equally sick of the secessionist nonsense, have asked Obama to deport everyone that signed a petition to withdraw their state from the United States of America or strip the citizenship from everyone who signed a petition to secede and exile them. By comparison, establishing Austin as a sort of free city in the middle of an Confederate Texas seems kind of awesome.

C'mon, people, we can do this! It only takes 25,000 signatures and we have to get a formal response from the White House. Call all your friends! We know the rest of the US wants to keep us! And what would happen to the a-HEM Texas economic miracle without Austin keeping if afloat? Plus, last time Henry Rollins came through town, he promised us Berlin Airlift-style supplies of porn and Stooges albums.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for almost 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

More Secession
The Texas Secession Petition
The Texas Secession Petition
Yup, that's a real thing. White House must respond to sore losers

Richard Whittaker, Nov. 12, 2012

Texas Nationalists for Medina
Texas Nationalists for Medina
Medina picks up endorsement from secession-touting group

Richard Whittaker, Jan. 12, 2010

More White House
Sequester Texas
Sequester Texas
White House report details budget cuts for Texas

Jordan Smith, Feb. 25, 2013

Bush Gets Back to Business
Bush Gets Back to Business
President says mine for oil.

Richard Whittaker, June 18, 2008

More by Richard Whittaker
Wizards of the Coast Opening New Austin Studio
Wizards of the (Third) Coast
Gaming mega-brand opening Austin studio under veteran director

April 25, 2019

<i>The Last Color</i> Touches the Lives of India's Untouchables
The Last Color Touches the Lives of India's Untouchables
A rainbow of love at Indie Meme

April 26, 2019


Secession, White House, Barack Obama, Civil War, Republic of Austin

One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Can't keep up with happenings around town? We can help.

Austin's queerest news and events

Updates for SXSW 2019

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle