The Horror … the Horror …

While free of John King's unadulterated douchebaggotry, the MSNBC debate is almost stiflingly painful to watch, for this onlooker at least. Something about the MSNBC boys club (with one notable exception) just churns my stomach – the bloated faux-gravitas of Tim Russert, whose understanding of politics begins and end with badgering, sound-bite-ready "gotcha" questions and masturbatory, Tom Clancy fan-fiction grade "what if?" scenarios. Then there's the condescending fratboy blandness of Brian Williams. Don't even get me started on Chris Matthews, whose pathological issues with the ladies (especially one H. Clinton) are exceedingly well-documented.

I wouldn't be surprised if these dickwads swing Ohio to Clinton, just like their glorious pile-on helped her eke out a New Hampshire win. Her polling must uptick every time she steps into one of these real-life Neil LaBute plays.

"Your words are much different, senator." ARRGH! What a flatulent gasbag! Oh, and John "Hundred Years War" McCain has "vast foreign policy expertise!" To paraphrase Dick Cheney, go fuck yourselves.

Must calm down … reach for the remote … tune into DVR'd episodes of Homicide: Life on the Street …

Rubbernecking Update: To sum up, thusly:

– A bunch of clips of the candidates saying shitty things about each other

– The bullshit Drudge Report photo "controversy" – as the second topic.

– Russert's ratcheting up the nascent, odious "Obama's anti-Israel" smear or, "How often do you and Louis Farrakhan go cruising for white women?" Real shameful, gutter-level shit.

– Russert demanding "yes or no" answers to his laughable "What if we partly withdrew and then the Iraqis told us to completely withdraw and then al Qaeda was elected president and then they allied with North Korea, do you have a policy ready for that!?!?!?!" line of questioning.

– And now, "You're too liberal, Obama!"

Sorry to curse a blue streak tonight, humble readers, but motherfuck a bunch of MSNBC. I swear, FOX couldn't have done these guys any greasier.